What's the most trouble you've ever gotten into in work?

Someone in work has just tried to get me in trouble. When I used to work in tesco an ex girlfriend (who was at the time a girlfriend) tried to buy about two or three hundreds worth of stuff using a cheque without a cheque card. That was a big NO-NO in tesco and looked (was) quite dodgy.

Got bollocked at TK Maxx for not smiling enough

Probably being fired


When I worked at the bookies, I added some tickets up wrong and overpaid someone by about £350 because I missed a decimal point.

Internet use. I was called in and asked how much time I reckon I had spent on the net the week before. I figured my goose was cooked so went with 30 hours. They looked crushed and said 18.


is this where you currently work?

Wrote an unpassable Science A Level for [redacted] & [redacted] College.

No. This was about six years back

That will explain why your volume of posting on here has dropped off so much in the ensuing period…

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Another guy got busted too so we just moved to our phones. That job was fucking dull.

had this job way back in a food distribution centre. you’d drive round in these forklift things picking up crates of pickles etc

I got caught in the chocolate room stuffing my face and got an instant dismissal. I kept crashing the forklift thing and I feel this might have had something to do with their willingness to bin me over a couple of fucking bounty’s

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Got threatened with a disciplinary for having an untidy desk.

Got a serious, serious bollocking for giving advice that was entirely legally correct (albeit poorly worded) to another employee of the same company.

Got a serious bollocking about “not letting my personal life interfere with your work life” for missing off two billing narratives (explanations on an itemised bill, that never went out to a client) two days after I broke up with my girlfriend of seven years.

I miss that job.

I was involved with, although in no way responsible for thank fuck, the early days of this:

I was working on a derivatives/product control project as a contractor so got pulled into trying to sort out what was going on as I was considered both a subject matter expert and also somewhat independent as I wasn’t a UBS employee. The pressure from the board/senior management was unreal - they seemed to think that just by being being very very angry with everyone that they could somehow fix the hole in their balance sheet (which at the time we ‘only’ thought was $500m). Fun times…

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Manager ‘had a word’ with me to be careful when I was a delivery driver after giving another motorist a bollocking.

I had to take evasive action to deal with this dickhead’s stupid driving, which set the CCTV off in the van, and then went nuts at him out of the window. He didn’t complain, it’s not something I’d normally do and the manager was like ‘Fair enough, he’s clearly driving like a total cunt but it’s not very professional like. Don’t do it again’ and that was the end of it really.

Was (wrongly) accused of working for, and taking favours from a service I’d been involved in commissioning for a local authority. Never found out who made the allegation. Was gutted at the time as it’s not something I’d ever consider doing, but also because the company in question couldn’t have paid me enough to want to work for them. Anyway, it all blew over and everyone moved on with their lives…

Christ, bird, of all the chocs to get done for…


probably the time they found out I hadn’t been charging my friends for drinks when I worked in a bar a few years ago. didn’t even get the sack.

in this job i’ve only ever had the one informal warning - someone rang up to complain about me because i explained the same thing to them v. politely and incredibly patiently. went over it about 5 times using various different examples and even the most basic language/laymans terms and they didn’t get it/wanted more help. i then went ‘i’m sorry if i’m not doing the best job at explaining it, it is all explained in this leaflet here if you’d like to have a look’. they said i was unhelpful. fucking bend over backwards for people and they do that.

have been physically assaulted quite a few times in the workplace. also get verbal abuse and threatened more often than you’d expect.


Got a shitkicking from an old manager for referring to his job title in front of some colleagues and not putting ‘Senior’ at the front. He called me ‘insolent’ and said that I was completely disrespecting him.

I left soon after.

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