People who write for a living often seem to be obsessed with making up stories about things their kids have done or said.
The format is almost always the same - nearly always a tweet, always starts with 'My _-year old…", and without fail it’s something far-fetched which has clearly come from the mind of an adult.
If you ever see a tweet like this, look in their bio, and 90% of the time they will be a journalist or author.
Don’t get it.
Shoot…
How busy they are and how little sleep they’ve had.
How little they care about something that’s clearly winding them up
Pretending they don’t watch telly all day. We all do, it’s fine.
This is a great shout.
People get a lot more sleep than they think 90% of the time, and that’s a hill I’ll, etc.
How much coal they had
That they know where places are. Get it a lot at work. “So where around [insert place name] can I buy your beer?” “Well we’re in [names of 3 or 4 pubs in various nearby places] if you know them?” “Oh yeah, yeah definitely, I’ll check them out” when they clearly have never heard of the places in question. Just say you’ve never been there mate, it’s fine.
Kids saying they’ve not revised for tests. Used to hate everyone sympathy lying to me about this. I’m not saying it to show off - I’m panicking
Being ushered out of a mosque
Their height
Do people lie about their height?
I hope Taylor Swift isn’t lying about being 5’11", because being the same height as Taylor Swift is a personal point of pride for me.
When middle class people say ‘you must come over for supper some time’ but don’t mean it. When I first moved down south I thought I must have upset someone who said this but then never invited me.
I am also 5’11 , it’s the perfect height imo - tall enough to reach things without back pain (generally), under 6 foot to stay humble.
I think it’s quite common on dating apps etc
Middle class people pretending they’re working class. We all fucking know.
preferring dark chocolate (if diet allows for milk chocolate)
I always say i’m 5’10, seems about right, but there is no way to know for sure so I might be lying
Just turn up at their house tonight with a bowl
On a similar tangent, people who buy a house and skirt around the fact that they could only afford it because of help from their family.
Don’t even care, if it’s open to you then you’d be stupid not to take it. Don’t pretend otherwise though*
*and yes, I know not all homeowners receive help from their family.