What's the worst injury you've ever caused someone (accidentally, and keep it light)

had a long ball coming up to me in football once, didn’t realise anyone was behind me so went to turn as it came and run it into the channel. Their full back was jumping to head it so as I turned the back of my shoulder hit him in the knee, flipped him in the air and broke his collarbone & dislocated his shoulder.
Felt really awful about it but, luckily, none of the rest of his team got too arsey about it

Was a guy who’d bully me a bit in year 7. Was practising indoor hockey in some after-school club and went for a shot. Ended up smacking his sister clean in the snout as she decided to run up behind me for some reason.

She was alright, eventually. I’m amazed I escaped alive.

Broke a kid’s rib by dropping a people’s elbow on him at school, it was two days before he and his family were due to move to Saudi Arabia and it delayed the process.

Hospitalised a girl with a plastic plate by launching it as a frisbee across the room without looking, it hit her point-blank in the philtrum and left a permanent scar.

Pushed my cousin over and he split his head open when we were little.

Elbowed someone in the face playing rugby broke their nose in school

Broke someones arm playing british bulldog at school too.

Some of these don’t sound that accidental, lads

Good deployment of ‘philtrum’.

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I mean that is literally right where it hit her, point-blank in the philtrum, felt dead guilty but she was really kind about it.

Only severe emotional trauma.

I think I broke some cunt from Dundee’s nose in a school rugby match, but I never got confirmation. He deliberately kicked me full in the mouth when I went to ground on a loose ball that he was running towards, so after I stopped rolling around on the ground worrying about lost teeth, I got some revenge in a ruck. He got taken off injured. Looked sore.

And it counts as an accident because that would’ve been my story to the referee if I’d been caught.

There is no veil here


remember there was the mass brawl in year 6 between us and the year 5s. I wasn’t involved, but one of the year 5s charged me from across the playground and I kicked him full on the stomach.

I remember it being a bit like this

his mum had to come and collect him. not sure if he was seriously injured or not though. weirdly, I received no punishment for the act.

For proper accidental, a friend and I were pretend wrestling when we were maybe 10, and I did a DDT on him that left him so dazed he didn’t know where he was and his mum had to come pick him up.

nearly hit a fella in the face with a hockey ball, then nearly did it again i think

Ohhhhhhhh I sent my little bro tumbling to the road when cycling in the summer as I tried to lean over and grab some wine gums from the back pocket of his top (he always does it to me). Trouble is I sneezed as I did it and kinda gave him a shove at the same time. Heh. Road rash photos are a gem! Felt real bad after though.

By accident? Can’t be many of these. Once was in bed waiting my ex to get in and while taking her jeans off she snapped one of the tendons in a finger. We had to go to hospital a bit drunk so she could get a splint put on. Sort of a shared accident which I didn’t cause, but if I wasn’t there it wouldn’t have happened!

Does cum in the eye count?

A friend says it stings really bad.

“A friend”

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Not entirely sure whether I injured the guy or not.

Was waiting at a bar when I was 19-20 and at uni. A total stranger standing behind me who I had never even spoken to before started aggressively groping me. I grabbed his hand and flung it away from me and turned round to look him in the face to yell at him. Combo of being drunk and angry and turning at the same time meant I flung it away from me really hard, harder than I meant to, and it went smack into the stone bar top pretty hard with an unpleasant crunch, and the guy’s face went white and he ran away.

Don’t know if I actually injured him, but for a while after I was really worried that I’d get into trouble for breaking his hand or something or that I’d suddenly find myself surrounded by his friends wanting to get their own back on “that crazy bitch” (esp as I wasn’t too sure what he looked like). Didn’t happen though, and never heard anything more of it. Over a decade later, I’ve more got the attitude that it would have served him right for groping strangers. “How did you break your hand?” “Oh I was groping a stranger at the bar”

(Reading people, this happened in Po Na Na)