My dog once vomited a shit it had previously eaten and then my other dog came and ate it all up.
My hamster once put corporation tax up by 5%.
forever a good boy
A cat of mine has violent diarrhoea on my bed and tucked it in so it just looked like a messy bed.
I realised this as I shook the cover out to neaten the bed
️ sorry to hear that
Pets are such fucking pricks
Not exist </3
When I was a kid we have a really fluffy black cat. One day she started dragging herself along the carpet. We soon realised she had poo matted in her furr and was trying to scrap it off on to the carpet.
Had some friends round a while back and the cat was playing up a little. One of them suggested that tapping him on the nose would make him behave and did so (before I could say anything). He punched her in the eye.
My partner came home one night and was violently sick into a bucket, in quite a large quantity too. Woke up to find the bucket absolutely spotless and the dog less hungry than usual. Actually comparing this to the stories above I think he needs a pat on the head and a reminder that he’s a very good boy
Ate my homework
My dearly departed Monty rolled in a shit on the first three Christmas mornings of his life. These were the only times he ever rolled in a shit in his lifetime.
Poor Mr Hanky
Dennis bit the tip of his tail off (about 2 inches), spraying blood all round the house. He then vommed it back up again and then fell asleep in the sick. Dogs eh.
On a non-pet related note, one of my favourite bits from comp was a new maths teacher coming in and laying down the law about homework: “Now I’m not having any excuses about having left your book on the kitchen table.” A couple of months later, when she was supposed to return them after marking, we were “Where’s our books Miss?” Her: “I left them on the kitchen table…”.
The worst thing your pet has done is being punched in the eye?
Other way around.
My cat Calcifer smashed up most of a tea set. My parents left it out overnight when they had guests over and he got his head stuck in the milk jug trying to lap up the last bit of milk and end up kicking over several other pieces of crockery in blind panic.
I think my parents are to blame for this. They shouldn’t have left milk out!