What's the worst thing you've ever cooked?

Think for me it was when I attempted to cook a main and a desert at the same time and somehow managed to get garlic in the apple crumble. Didn’t notice until we started eating it :nauseated_face:


First day moved up to uni I made: tinned tomatoes, pasta and bacon. No seasoning or anything. Pretty awful but it actually filled me up for the night that came after

Not me but my bf grilled a 2kg shoulder of pork for 2 and a half hours before he realised he had put the grill on instead of the oven. It was black on top.


Cooked a lasagne once and the oven door handle broke when I went to open it. It cooked for an extra hour with the oven slowly cooling down until I eventually jammed it open (not easy using tools with oven gloves on). It was very overdone.

I tried to make chicken satay one time at uni, ended up having to throw the pan out because the sauce and the peanut butter fused into the bottom of it.

could you not have opened it with a fork or screwdriver or something and then put the oven gloves on?

It just left part of a handle and not one with screws/ big enough to grip with pliers. It was a fucking nightmare :slight_smile:

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So I was sort of leaning/levering my other hand against the door, which was red hot as it was old the inner pane was bollocksed

what’s the problem? garlic good! apple crumble good!


Pasta twirls with mint sauce stirred through, with scrambled egg on top and a packet of crushed crisps sprinkled on top of that.


Woah! I’d be interested to hear the thought process that led to that recipe!

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It’s the end of my first term at uni and there’s nothing else left in the cupboard probably sums it up. And I ate it all up!


Last Halloween gone, I made pumpkin gnocchi. First mistake was using a carving pumpkin, which made it tasteless. Ended up just tasting of flour, for about two hours worth of effort and hard-to-shift mess.

on bread = grim
on toast = fine

don’t know why

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I do a (normally nice) dish of lamb shanks, which I slow cook in garlic, tomatoes, chillies, and I add a little cinnamon and cloves. I have no idea how it happened, but the last time I came to make it, it ended up tasting of just cloves- like as if I’d tipped in a whole tub of ground cloves (which to my knowledge I hadn’t.) I didn’t want to toss the food out, as that would be wasteful, so I ditched most of the clovey sauce, added a couple of fresh tins of chopped toms, and had another go using the same meat. the sauce tasted ok in the end, and I was so relieved. Dished it up, and my bf and took a big bite into the lamb- OMG, CLOVE HELL!!!

The flat smelled of cloves for months. I love cloves, but it was not a good or happy time for me. My bf is now off cloves for life.


Purposefully, but following some accidentally revolting experiments. Me and a friend used to make horrible biscuits and pass them round at school/clubs we went to. Mostly just a lot of cayenne pepper or mustard centres or w/e. We did this quite a lot but we were very quiet and nice and no one ever learnt to expect it. It was really funny for all involved but we did get asked to leave guides.

Retrospectively cos at the time I thought it was nice. I used to make ‘healthy ice cream’ just from Tesco value fat free cottage cheese and sugar free lemon squash (also Tesco value) and made everyone eat it on my 21st birthday.

I did similar making a sausage casserole. Used ground cloves, not whole cloves and made the wrong calculation. The cloves basically absorbed most of the liquid. The whole thing was inedible and the house smelt like shit mulled wine for ages

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In the early years of uni, I decided to cook for a girl I was seeing. I did a lovely starter of Portobello mushroom with garlic and Manchego. Because I was an idiot and a (at the the time) bad cook, I read one clove of garlic as one bulb of garlic on the recipe, and basically created a dish that was basically a mass of raw-ish garlic topped with mushroom.

It’s a good job garlic is the food of love, or I’d have potentially really ruined my chances that night.

This reminds me of one of my uni flatmates who used to mainly cook plain pasta and chicken dippers

Carrot cake that looked, smelled, and tasted of sausage meat. I’m still not sure how normal cake ingredients ended up like that. I definitely didn’t make the cake out of sausages.