What's the worst thing you've ever cooked?

I once assumed that a jar of jerk marinade would work in a similar way to the jerk style seasoning I’d bought previously.

The resulting chicken mess was hot enough to burn my lips and was so resistant to cooling that it split the yogurt I tried to calm it down with.

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Made a vegan cheese and broccoli soup from the Cinnamon Snail cookbook and it came out a grey sludge. I have no idea what went wrong but it smelled kind of like feet.