What's your favourite expression?

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1

big fan of describing an explosive shit as sounding like:

old shoes falling out of the loft*

*stolen from the viz obviously

some of these are absolute crackers too*

*stolen from the old boards

2

Only ever seen it on Imgur so it might be made up, but the Australian expression meaning roughly “why else would I be here?”, that goes: well I’m not here to fuck spiders.

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3

Smile

4

=SUM(B6:B69)

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6

Enjoy using ‘I’ve got a face like a dropped pie’ when hungover.

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7

‘As pissed as a badger’ is a favorite. But I am not sure it is an actual expression.

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8

‘You can’t polish a turd’ will always remain a firm favourite.

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9

Someone (think it was @colossalhorse) introduced me to that wonderful Polish one that translates as “not my circus, not my monkeys” for when something isn’t your problem.

Also heard someone say they’d rather plait shit than watch a cricket match once.

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10

my ma often uses “you get more with sugar than you do with shite”

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11

My mum god rest her soul once attempted to use ‘as happy as a pig in shit’ to describe someone joyful.

She actually said ‘as happy as pigshit’ which I now use instead. Much better.

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12

I first heard that from someone else on here (I can’t remember who - sorry whoever you are!) but it’s a great phrase. I took to using it so often my gf bought me this mug for work:

20181108_134807
20181108_134807750×1333 176 KB

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13

wild goose chase

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14

Having a whale of a time.

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16

What?! You’ve polished a turd? And taken photos of it?

18

Russian pal has some great alternatives to yer standard Brexit Britain ones. ‘On thin ice’ translates to ‘a cow on skates’ for example.

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19

I missed that. I stand corrected. Henceforth I shall instead use ‘you can definitely polish a turd, but that is completely irrelevant in this scenario’

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20

‘As wet as an otter’s pocket’ gets regular airings.

I also thoroughly enjoy and steal Alan Patridge’s “I’d rather lick piss off nettles”.

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21

my mate describes his arse after a particularly hot curry as "being like a butcher’s bin"

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22

Does the pope shit in the woods!

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23

Liking this before it’s corrected.

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