When I go out for a drink with a pal...

…we just competitively list stuff. I watched this thing, I watched this thing. I went to this gig, I went to that gig. I’m going to France next week, I’m going to Spain in June. Might have a chippy tea, I’ve got a chicken kiev in. Have you heard that LP?, have you heard this record?



1-0 barleysugar.


do you like each other? reckon I would get wound up by that after a while

It’s not one mate. More something I’ve noticed about how men - me and my mates, and other males I overhear talking in pubs - communicate. Just a sort of completely unempathetic, rigid, banal script.


I might have a chippy tea


Was in pub in Brussels last night and the lad behind the bar was telling me about when he came to Manchester. Hearing him say “then I had a chippy tea” in a strong French accent made me proper laugh.


You lot want to start asking questions of each other rather than trading statements

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Would you like a chippy tea?


You’re right of course.

I fear it’s nothing more complicated than that us blokes really feel the need to be the one doing the talking all the time. I’m getting worse for that even as I get more self aware about it. Keeping my gob shut becomes ever more of a chore.

Bants or lists.

Lad walks into the bar I’m in last night 5 years since I’ve seen him as he lives over here. I had a jumper on which has a slight look of Star Trek uniform on.

No hello no nothing just a straight “fuck me, beam me up Scotty” shouted across the pub before I’d even seen him


The joke’s on him because that exact phrase was never actually spoken in any Star Trek television episode or film. Checkmate.

The closest Kirk got was in episode 4 of season 3 when he said, “Beam me the fuck out of here, Scotty!”

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Welcome to the boards Sheldon

I might have a better chippy tea and also a Rio

Back in the day men would communicate with good honest bare knuckle boxing. Good honest scraps, nothing below the belt. Maybe try going back to that?