When I go out for a drink with a pal...

…we just competitively list stuff. I watched this thing, I watched this thing. I went to this gig, I went to that gig. I’m going to France next week, I’m going to Spain in June. Might have a chippy tea, I’ve got a chicken kiev in. Have you heard that LP?, have you heard this record?

Weird.

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1-0 barleysugar.

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do you like each other? reckon I would get wound up by that after a while

It’s not one mate. More something I’ve noticed about how men - me and my mates, and other males I overhear talking in pubs - communicate. Just a sort of completely unempathetic, rigid, banal script.

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I might have a chippy tea

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Was in pub in Brussels last night and the lad behind the bar was telling me about when he came to Manchester. Hearing him say “then I had a chippy tea” in a strong French accent made me proper laugh.

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You lot want to start asking questions of each other rather than trading statements

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Would you like a chippy tea?

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You’re right of course.

I fear it’s nothing more complicated than that us blokes really feel the need to be the one doing the talking all the time. I’m getting worse for that even as I get more self aware about it. Keeping my gob shut becomes ever more of a chore.

Bants or lists.

Lad walks into the bar I’m in last night 5 years since I’ve seen him as he lives over here. I had a jumper on which has a slight look of Star Trek uniform on.

No hello no nothing just a straight “fuck me, beam me up Scotty” shouted across the pub before I’d even seen him

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The joke’s on him because that exact phrase was never actually spoken in any Star Trek television episode or film. Checkmate.

The closest Kirk got was in episode 4 of season 3 when he said, “Beam me the fuck out of here, Scotty!”

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Welcome to the boards Sheldon

I might have a better chippy tea and also a Rio

Back in the day men would communicate with good honest bare knuckle boxing. Good honest scraps, nothing below the belt. Maybe try going back to that?