When someone

says “keeping up appearances”, do you desperately try to think of a Hyacinth Bucket joke to shoehorn in?

  • Of course
  • I am a liar

0 voters

1 Like

Same with the word “bucket”, often a temptation to correct the pronounciation.

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When someone says “Birmingham”, do you have to fight the urge to repeat it in a terrible attempt at a Brummie accent (with about 17 implied "i"s)

  • Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir
  • I am not a dickhead

0 voters

Asks if you want a drink at work you say “a vodka” or “gin”

  • Yes this level of sophisticated office banter gets me through the day and demonstrates how witty I am to all my colleagues
  • Tea please

0 voters

Used to work with a woman who did this literally EVERY SINGLE TIME you offered her a hot drink. It was her entire personality.

Mentioned it in my dissertation actually.


When a fire engine goes past, do you feel and/or act on the urge to say “well they’ll never sell any ice cream going at that speed”.

  • Yes because I am hilarious
  • mate

0 voters

When a barperson offers you a tray when you’ve been served a round of drinks, do you say “do you not think I’ve got enough to carry?!”

  • Yes, and everyone loves me a little bit more when it happens
  • Look, I don’t go to bars to enjoy myself

0 voters

God no, if she ever finds out that she can get this quality of shabs from people who don’t hold in their farts until the middle of a big hug then I’m screwed.


I do not. Dudley, on the other hand…


Hook coffee directly into my veins

I’m so sorry forgive me lord for I have sinned. Guilty of this on the reg. Maybe its my entire personality?

Not for a fire engine because I’m not some weird dad joking comedy dolt.

For an ambulance on the other hand…


Well as long it’s not a cry for help from the oppression of your job…

They you would probably sound more scouse than brummie