When was the last time you had a 'non crime' related chat with the police


was chatting to a copper in the P/O recently. she was behind me, but had no parcel or whatever, so I can only assume she was buying stamps.

I asked her is she listens to music in the police car. she said she didn’t. she did say that she watches videos on her phone though. but only in quiet times.


my mam’s brother’s wife is one, so last year.


paris, july this year, asked which bridge i could cross on my bike as the TdF was passing through and about ten bridges were shut to bikes


My wife has two cousins who are babylon and one of them is married to one. So all the fucking time, well a few perfunctory words.


My girlfriend works for the pigs. She does a desk job though. Does this count?


what is the job, man?


Intelligence analyst


aye, full on trotter


no problem with this, though. I sleep well because of her


In that case, this morning


Not sure if it counts but I was pissed as fuck at a wedding yesterday fairly near Cardiff univeristy buildings and a passing couple of plods told me that I seemed to be having a nice time in that sort of classic passive aggressive way that probably meant stop shouting cops for fertiliser


My ex is friends with a couple of them. Well, one is still a policeman, the other left after an incident where she was held hostage at gunpoint.

We had them round for dinner, and while talking to the still-copper I mentioned something I didn’t want to do and unthinkingly accompanied it with the “finger gun to head” motion, trigger pulled and everything. When have I ever made that motion at any other point in the last ten years? Never, that’s when.

I’m a fud.


Couple of months back when they kicked down our flat’s door to check that there wasn’t a dead elderly lady there.

Neighbour down the road reported they hadn’t seen their elderly neighbour for a while. Said her car hadn’t moved for ages either. Turns out that was our car. Po-po linked this to our flat, came round twice to find no one in during working hours, so kicked in the door. Pretty sure there’s a phone number on the vehicle registration form they could have called to ascertain that the car wasn’t owned by an old lady, but there you go.


Last month meeting the GF’s uni-friends. One of them is an officer of the law.


Strong work.


unrelated, but i recently heard about a local psychic/medium who works as a freelance profiler for the police.



Stewart copeland asked for my help carrying his groceries when one of his bags split in Lidl car park a couple of weeks ago


Christ. Can you get any cash off them for that, or are you on your own / insurance?


my godfather is a pig, so like 2 years ago?


Comfortably the most cringeworthy moment of my adult life.