When was the last time you told someone to fuck off?

a serious fuck off, not a jokey fuck off

just had a guy try to come through the building doors the same time as me, so i did the nice thing and held the door open. he didn’t even look at me never mind smile or say thanks. then he had the gall to turn around and try to ask directions to find some other company in my building.

he got told. prick.

have high hopes for this thread. don’t let me down.


Oofft. Don’t mess with japes.


I tell things to fuck off all the time


Fuck off, mate


30 secs ago


any really good ones recently that you were care to share?

Probably while driving, tbh. Just before I moved, I think I told someone to fuck off then we ended up at the traffic lights in adjacent lanes. Oops.

always pretty awkward

Last Friday a pub manager raised his fists to a girl I knew who had drunkenly stolen a lampshade from his pub. I basically told him not to do it quite forcefully so he goaded me and I told him I wasn’t responsible for his insecurities and to fuck off.
He stroked my face as well, it was a very weird encounter.


From the safety of my own car with the windows down: about 40 minutes ago.

In a public space to a stranger where I’d face the consequences: never.

To the TV: last time we argued (Saturday morning).

I told my old roommate/landlord to fuck off actually. He was being a prick though.

Last Saturday. There was a guy doing a drugs deal right outside the window of my daughter’s bedroom (really blatantly; could see right into the car) and I told him to fuck off and deal his drugs somewhere other than on a residential street.

I’m not prohibitionist (?) and it doesn’t really bother me that a lot of drugs get taken in our area, but it just really irked me that it was right outside our house.


Told the main character on Red Dead Redemption to fuck off last night, if that counts.

Probably some close-pass car wanker.

Oooh, this rude wanker at the pub a month ago. Was absolutely dead inside, one regular sat at the bar by the back door with a pretty full pint. So I just went out to the garden to gather all the ashtrays to wash (“gimme a shout yeah?”). Two oiks had come in by the time I got back less than 2 minutes later. “Oh fucking hell you gonna serve us or what?” - “No, probably not. Why don’t you fuck off?”


this totally confused me. thought you were ma0sm


Never seen us in the same room have you?!


some guy on the tube a few weeks ago who made some snide comment about me not being further down the carriage when I was getting off (carriage wasn’t full at all). Went really well - two finger gesture and everything as I was stepping off the tube.


Little while ago. Dog ran up behind a bloke and sort-of pawed the back of his leg, and before I had a chance to apologise the guy just went nuts, started screaming at me and basically being an arsehole.

So I told him to fuck off.


got in a row with a guy who was riding his bike on the pavement - next to the bike path, then looked over his shoulder, saw me and my kids approaching fast on our bikes, and then went ahead and plonked down in front of us anyway

for some reason he told me to “go back where you came from” . Called him a fucking prick


this reminds me somewhat of when my parents moved into their current house a few years ago. There’s some parking intended for residents up the street, but commuters often use it to park their cars before catching the train into London.

My dad got a really horrible note on his car saying something like ‘go and fucking park in the station, these spaces are for residents’, and he was like ‘oh :neutral_face:

this story is so much more boring than I thought it’d be.


A cyclist who went through a red light and nearly ploughed into me as I crossed at a green man. I shoutwed FUCK OFF CYCLIST PRICK and two people went YEAH, WATCH OUT CYCLIST PRICK., like it was their ideas to shout first. I was the only swearer which was quite off-brand for Glasgow.