When you have builders/plumbers/decorators etc round your place

Do you change the way you speak?

Had a plumber round last evening to fix the flush on my loo and I found myself speaking oddly; dropped aitches, lazy pronunciation, copious use of the word ‘mate’. As I moved the rug for him, instead of saying ‘I’ll move this out of your way’ as I normally would, I said instead ‘I’ll get this shifted aht yer road’… wtf

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No need, as I am already a 100% authentic man of the people.


I don’t speak differently… at least I don’t think… but I do find it absolutely horrendously awkward. Do I offer to help? He’s probably thinking I should know how to do this myself. Does he want me to stand around and chat to him or should I go and get on with something in the other room? If I stay, does he think I’m keeping an eye on him? If I go is it rude? All these thoughts and more go through my head and I cannot wait til the guy leaves.


I’m probably hideously patronising and embarrassing, but I’d be too anxious to notice

I find that the offer of tea usually removes any awkwardness

yeah, offer a brew, tell them how shit the previous person who did the job theyre now coming to fix was, go hide in the front room and tell them youre there if they need you. all the while restraining the little dog from trying to lick their faces

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Kind of. It’s not ‘normal’ me but - working in transport - I’m highly skilled when it comes to blokey chit chat.


The other day I walked into my house just as the builders were walking in and I just said hi and walked upstairs. I could have been anyone. they weren’t to know.

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I’ve got a plumber coming to service tbe boiler at 9. But he’s more well spoken than I am.

I lived on a Sarf Landan council estate as a kid with very lazy pronunciation.

However going to University and having an office job with well educated people, I’ve lost most of it although I do slip back into old ways.

This phrase made me a little queasy

its just my life

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GF’s Dad quite often comes around to help with DIY/decorating. Generally stand around feeling awkward and like I’m getting in the way. Went with him to help build a fence once and got the job of picking up all the off cuts of wood and putting them in the bin :neutral_face:


More the kind of thing I do in a black cab.

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as a trade doing guy - this is the perfect client. everyone be like vine.

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You’ve got to play the game. Not so much change the way you speak, but speak like you have a vague clue about what they are doing so they don’t rip you off.
Had to call the plumber and was all “yeah, think the wax seal at toilet base might have gone, that or it’s a leak on the flush pipe” and then he came back at me with plumbing science like “cone joint” and other terms and it became clear I didn’t really know what I was talking about and was just “mate, can u come and fix my loo cheers”

i dont even need to do a voice like NV, being the working class hero i am


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I employ this tactic with the IT elves at work; it soon becomes apparent I am an absolute amateur

tea is good, tea and hiding - great.

although if a dog came by to say hello occasionally, that is considered ok.

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I had an electrician round and told him ‘Your not going to like this but I am going to watch you to see what your doing as I think its a simple problem but didn’t want to risk getting electrocuted’ he seemed to enjoy having the company and explaining everything. He was very good.