I did and it was a beautiful ceremony
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This makes me happier than it has any right to
I think ours was just a sort of long, sarky Ummmmmm with a load of pitch changes. Also, did anyone else in primary school go around in big linked-arm gangs of either boys or girls in the playground chanting “We want more boys/girls [delete as appropriate]”?
- Of course, we all built gender-segregated chains of our peers!
- That sounds weird, what sort of weird school did you go to, a school for weirds?
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Had these terms out in the South Hams too.
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Well Funkhouser, you’re an odd fellow, but you South a good Ham.
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This must be one of the most niche Simpsons shitposts ever
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Yes very much this
Did anyone ever ask you “are you a virgin?” in Primary School and then you don’t know what “a virgin” is so you say “no” (to be on the safe side) and then they go “HAHAHAHA YOU’VE HAD SEX!!!”
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Used to get
‘what’s red and itchy?’
‘I don’t know’
‘fanny rash. Do you get it?’
‘yes’
‘haha, you have a fanny!’
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We did and it was followed up by a massively racist rhyme that I won’t be repeating.
Oh-ee-oh-ee-ohhhhh-eee.
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Yeah I think ours was mainly a sort of long drawn out version of sucking air through pursed lips in ‘shock’ while your facial expression is full, “Oh yeah!”
We used to sing a song on the last day of term at primary school
We’ve broke up
We’ve broke up
We don’t care if the school blows up
No more English
No more French*
No more sitting on the old school bench
If the teacher interferes
Pick him up and box his ears
If that does not do the job
Dynamite will see him off
*Oddly, we didn’t actually study French
- I too sang songs celebrating the anticipated violent deaths of my educators
- That’s actually rather disturbing
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We used to go UMMMMMMM if someone did something naughty, but there was a phase of following it up with that thing where you move your finger over your lips while making a noise to make a blblblblbl sound. Can’t describe it very well.
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Dunno, never got sent out of class. Too good.
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Who radicalised you?
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Towards the cusp of summer in primary school, we were enclaved to the concrete but had the chance of accessing the fields if the grass was dry. Everyone would line up along the edge of the school fields awaiting the promise of access, a dinner lady would approach and test the moistity of the grass and then signal access dozens of school kids would thunder forwards and forlic with their ball games and daisy chains if access was granted if the dinner lady would allow
- Yes
- No
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In sun scouring weather dinner ladies would worry other our primary school child health and scream ‘to the trees’ and ‘into the shade’ remeniscing a Vietnam War film. Everyone would abandon their ball games and their daisy chasing making.
- Yes
- No
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God, school was so shit
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