I’m on another bus. Front seat this time. Sadly we’re not going anywhere.

Busy buses, back left in front of the bench seat.

Quiet buses, downstairs at the back with feet up on the seat in front facing me.

Are you approaching the sliplane for the M25 there?

Fucking hate that place. Visit stinking in laws and then get stuck there in my way back as a reward.

A mile or two from the turn off to Gatwick

Ah the other way. I hate that place too.

I don’t think many happy memories have been made on that whole stretch of road

Top deck at the front

Able bodied people who sit at the lower decks on busy buses are bad people

Think this is a bit harsh/narrow and is the kind of attitude that leads to people with invisible disabilities feeling demonised.

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I should clarify that extends to anybody with invisible disabilities, obviously

I’m just basically thinking about people too lazy to walk up the stairs who are making it more difficult for people who actually really need them

Oh ffs. Let’s try the Twitter version instead.

Top deck, left hand side, wherever there’s room, unless I’m taking the la-di-da airport bus, in which case it’s any of the single seats on the first five rows upper deck so that I don’t have to sit next to any proles who happen to slip past the VIP rope outside and manage to get on.

But then if an 80s/90s Lothian Bus gets dumped on the street via a wormhole in time, then it’s sideways bench just inside the main doors alllllllll the way, baby.

Your girlfriend is a woman of taste.

Daytime - any upstairs window seat is fine
Nightbus - downstairs

can’t believe you didn’t say ‘fuck a bus’