Which footballer would you be?


#1

Inspired by/ripped off from A-Poc’s AMA thread. If your 'ball skillz were dialed up to pro standards, which footballer (any era) would you most resemble? Brief descriptions encouraged.


#2

Stacey Solomon


#3

Lee Trundle


#4

First season CR7. Very good at going past people, but to what end?


#5

Socrates


#6

Player: some kind of David Batty meets Dennis Wise midfield twat.
Because: no obvious actual skills, but quite effective as a destructive force in midfield. Good engine, decent tackle, very likely to commit a foul, annoying to the opposition.


#7

I have been likened to Pat Viera before so him I guess. By that I mean I used to play defensive midfielder but would get bored quite quickly and make some surging runs forward to little or no avail.


#8


#9

Per Mertesacker


#10

Jan Molby


#11

!!!


#12

Hmm. Who’s capable of flying off the handle without warning to humorous effect and yelling at dickheads…


#13

It would have to be REALLY dialled up, and from before my ankle injury, but Rob Jones.

Pacy, likes to overlap, never scores, often played out of position at left back.


#14

Adebayor running the length of the pitch to taunt fans of my old team

Yes I’m that petty


#15

Hristo Stoichkov


#16

Qualified medical practitioner?


#17

For real though, I’m a big man up front Emile Ivanhoe Heskey circa Leicester all day


#18

Neville Southall. Big fan of the mullet/tache combo. And I’d get to call Michael Owen a twat


#19

who


#20

nobody knows, think it’s an old poster?