Which footballer would you be?

Inspired by/ripped off from A-Poc’s AMA thread. If your 'ball skillz were dialed up to pro standards, which footballer (any era) would you most resemble? Brief descriptions encouraged.

Stacey Solomon

4 Likes

Lee Trundle

First season CR7. Very good at going past people, but to what end?

Socrates

3 Likes

Player: some kind of David Batty meets Dennis Wise midfield twat.
Because: no obvious actual skills, but quite effective as a destructive force in midfield. Good engine, decent tackle, very likely to commit a foul, annoying to the opposition.

2 Likes

I have been likened to Pat Viera before so him I guess. By that I mean I used to play defensive midfielder but would get bored quite quickly and make some surging runs forward to little or no avail.

1 Like

6 Likes

Per Mertesacker

1 Like

Jan Molby

!!!

It would have to be REALLY dialled up, and from before my ankle injury, but Rob Jones.

Pacy, likes to overlap, never scores, often played out of position at left back.

1 Like

Adebayor running the length of the pitch to taunt fans of my old team

Yes I’m that petty

Hristo Stoichkov

1 Like

Qualified medical practitioner?

1 Like

For real though, I’m a big man up front Emile Ivanhoe Heskey circa Leicester all day

1 Like

Neville Southall. Big fan of the mullet/tache combo. And I’d get to call Michael Owen a twat

5 Likes

who

nobody knows, think it’s an old poster?

2 Likes

<3 Big Nev the socialist giant

9 Likes