Who is the most famous person you've ever touched?

No. He did draw a little Bart for me though (this was at his ATP festival).

In that case I believe you.

Cool. He is pretty special.

not having any of this brushed past me or had his hands on my shoulders shit. are you all going round naked all the time and haphazardly bumping into naked famous people?

if not then I’m claiming mine as either Hitler or Jesus, who I am, by your logic, touching right now.

I supported Thom Yorke and Kings of Leon, and I met Burt Bacharach backstage at a festival I was playing.

None of us were naked.


We had a chat and then took a photo where he placed his hands on my clothed shoulders. What level of touching are you after here? Anal?

Ferret, yams, sinkhole.

i wasn’t questioning you. i presume you shook hands with these people.

skin to skin obviously! Have you touched tom hanks or has your jumper touched tom hanks?

Oh, oh. Just remembered that I shook hands with Duncan from Dananananaykroyd.

Think this trumps most of your nonsense.

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We would also have shaken hands but I went for the more intimate standing behind me with his hands on his shoulders. Fucking hell do you think condomed sex doesn’t count?

Alan Sparhawk from Low

Various politicians

now he wasn’t even touching your jumper any more, he was just doing some kind of crap Mobot

Danny Dyer or Jimmy Carr, not sure which is more famous.

Iggy Pop, on the bum.

Your future king, Prince Charles.

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I don’t generally touch people.

The guy out of EMF trod on my hand though once. But that was hand —> trainer sole interface.

Is Balonz Iggy’s bum?

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Joanna Lumley probably