#62

well yeah. come on, man…you know what I mean. you’re a sensible guy. WHO determines on THESE boards what is and what isn’t acceptable

#63

or HOW do we determine…

#64

Oh yeah absolutely. i dont really agree the boards are exclusive though, its just the inevitable when you have a forum for so long, theres going to be a sense of in jokes. I dont think theyre exclusive in that new users are unwelcome or anything though

#65

Well pretty much anything deemed contentious by progressives would be offensive I guess. Whether it all gets noted and followed up on is a different matter.

Not everyone will know and you’ll rely on a flagging followed by being told that X is out of order, and whether or not you accept that is then key to what happens next.

You yourself used to fall foul of this stuff Silky but on this board you seem to be fine so even if you disagree on what is actually offensive, you appear to accept that it’s not really the point.

I guess I mean that you must implicitly understand the answer to your own Questions?

1 Like
#66

Wait what. It’s perfectly legitimate to say the borards are shit and boring and thus not contribute. I mean it’s just an opinion man

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#67

Yes, I realise that.

I’m not criticising _Em for one moment. I’m addressing two points at once really.

She’s not moaning about things being boring she’s concerned about the boards being offensive and exclusive. That’s entirely valid.

On the flipside it seems that quite often people moan about the boards being dull whilst doing nothing about it. I didn’t mean to conflate these two things at all.

#68

It’s legitimate but it’s pretty pointless.

Like standing out in the rain and moaning about how wet it is.

#69

But perfectly legitimate if someone posting it in a thread asking why you don’t contribute to the social boards.

1 Like
#70

I think there is also the question about atmosphere. I could be around a bunch of rugby club lads who are saying nothing offensive in its self but still find the banterous attitude and atmosphere deeply unpleasant. This doesn’t necessarily mean its wrong. Just not something I want to be involved in.

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#71

Yes, I agree. I hadn’t realised that anyone had done that in this thread.

I’m referring to people that I’ve seen posting in the past just moaning that the boards are dull when they’ve done nothing to spice things up themselves. As if the boards were a TV channel that they paid for.

I haven’t read the whole thread so I don’t know if anyone’s said they’re boring in this one. I thought this was more about people being put off by laddishness, mean-spiritedness and crass behaviour.

#72

Yes going to a random thread (or starting a thread) going ‘THIS IS DULL’ is just silly.

#73

We’ve got no argument then, mroc.

:slight_smile:

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#74

Agreed.

I really don’t want people to be put off posting on here because of anything I say.

As I suggested elsewhere, I’m happy to behave differently if it means the boards being more inclusive.

#75

something about plain omelettes

#76

I’ll even lay off the plain omelettes if it helps.

And you all know how dear they are to me.

#77

This hits the nail on the head for me. I get really irked on dis a lot, genuinely find it the most uncomfortable environment (but stay because the good and bad are pretty separate), struggle to articulate why that is but it is something around this combination of narrow-mindedness and some peoples willingness to be so harsh (I don’t like it when its aimed at me, or in principle when I see people do it to others).

Across a range of topics a familiar mindset will often emerge. People who thing they are the default, that what they like is what people should like, that what they experience is what others experience, that what they think is what people should think, and how they are is how people should be. When people diverge they consider it either treat it as a moral failing, or treat them with disbelief. Just some examples, you like a film they don’t think people your age should like so you are a ‘weird’ ‘pathetic’ ‘child’, you struggle with things they don’t struggle with so they think you are an attention seeker or that you think you are a ‘special little snowflake’ or that you are a ‘bedwetter’, you have a difference of opinion so they fire a personal insult at you rather than an argument, you like something they think is bad so you are pretending to like it or have ulterior motives, you dare get upset you are having a ‘meltdown’. Just really comes down to people not respecting other peoples personalities, views, sensitivities etc.

Think the judgmentalness, harshness combined with the often crude humour must be pretty unappealing to those who aren’t also like that, so they may not stick around to see the good stuff.

3 Likes
#78

Yeah sorry, just meant to add to your point to @TKC

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#79

I think this sort of thing is usually tongue-in-cheek and done for comic effect rather genuine malice but fair enough if it comes across as unwelcoming.

#80

Yeah you summed it up pretty well there. There’s also the fact that all these guys clearly have very comfortable lives (much more materially comfortable than mine) and they just wilfully don’t enjoy anything and make fun of anyone who does. It’s like there is this bizarre fear of being seen to be enthusiastic about anything and that people who do are painfully uncool and should be mocked out of the playground. The only other place I see that is amongst 13 year old boys.

I saw on my emails I had some replies to my pretty harmless chat about what book you’re reading and 70s electronic music. So I opened up the website, and then got blindsided by a kind of nasty thread where people were acting like sexual abuse was this massive joke, and it made me feel pretty sick to be honest. I asked some people what the fuck was wrong with them, and found myself thinking “Why am I having to remind some grown men (who probably earn double what I do- the one who is an architect probably triple or quadruple) to behave with basic human decency?”

#81

I comes across as a big circle of 13 year old boys in the playground. Not welcoming except to other 13 year old boys.

1 Like