Words or phrases that don't do what they say

“polite” in “polite reminder”. You can’t make something impolite polite just by saying so.

Also what is the deal with airplane food?

depends on the airline but will be £0-£10 and of low quality

Chicken or beef?

Aye, whenever something is described as “polite” or “respectful” it’s the opposite. Passive Aggressive.