Work Annual Reviews

Got mine in a couple of days. Aiming for a solid average like usual. Just finished my self-review document piece of shit. Made myself sound like some sort of hero of the modern age with a few light self-critiques. Didn’t mention DiS. Made sure my negatives were things I couldn’t do anything about or things that aren’t really applicable so it’s easy to show improvements for next time around. Gonna go into that meeting like it’s court and argue up every single point they throw at me (unless there are positive ones).

It’s a fucking sham, isn’t it?

Quite happy my current boss is of the [correct] opinion that these are a load of bollocks, so we don’t have to do it.

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Very big on SMART objectives here so it’s usually less work to actually do them than it is to make up reasons why you haven’t done them. The pricks.

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We use a weird system every 6 months where we pick 3 colleagues and they have to rate us from 1-10 against our company values. Utterly terrifying, gimme a shitty MS Word ‘grid of fluffy bullshit’ any day.

At my place they’ve already basically worked out what you are getting in your review before you are required to submit the thing

Once I discovered this I stopped stressing about them so much

Same here.

I managed to get a decent review this year, mainly because I worked on a high profile project over the summer and didn’t stop harping on about it to my boss.

it’ll be a straight down the line 3 (out of 5) again next year, I guarantee it.

Yeah, pretty much, and on the whole they’re meaningless in the sense that people have already made a mental hierarchy of everyone regardless.

HOWEVER, should shit hit the fan, it’s often the only record of performance. So whatever else happens, I fight shit in reviews as it’s an official document and I want that shit to make me sound better than I am, just in case.

I remember the first annual review I ever had, I naïvely believed them when they said it was also the time to give appropriate feedback to your boss.

While I gave the incredibly mild, sanitised, and very diplomatic feedback I’d carefully thought out, my boss started leaning farther and farther back in her seat until she was literally looking down her nose at me.

Lesson learned.

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As with most things, if they’re done well they’re actually very useful. It’s often the case that they’re not, but the principle is sound.

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Here’s my last one;

“Since Safebruv’s previous appraisal, Safebruv has been recognised for his achievements and promoted to Senior Business Analyst. This is credit to the input Safebruv has on such a variety of projects. There have been many ever-changing priorities over the past twelve months, and we will no doubt continue to challenge Safebruv by moving the Business priorities. This makes it very difficult to set meaningful objectives, but the objectives set within this appraisal are relevant for the next 3-6 months.
Safebruv continues to have an excellent relationship with clients and colleagues, which means he constantly contributes a lot to the development of the group”

That’s your report card m8

Have just remembered this fucking thing.

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the way mine usually go

image

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I miss my old boss who treated the PDR process with such contempt he’d just copy and paste my job description into the list of achievements for the year and write, “colossalhorse did his job.” Hero.

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Celebratory drinks in o’Shea’s?

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my boss said I should get a raise

Does anyone on DiS work in HR?

You can fuck off with your appraisal bullshit :wink:

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I did get an “A” so you might be right

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The only sensible way to play an annual review meeting is to lay down some sweet self-aggrandisement then moonwalk out of the room high-fiving everyone (just your manager?) as you go.

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My boss is leaving so didn’t really care too much about it and it was along the lines of “you’re great, doing such a good job, we rely on you heavily, keep doing what you’re doing…but we can’t give you a bonus or a pay rise”

ok!!! #motivated

Ours is quite confusing cause you have to give a % of achievement. It confuses a lot of people because there is no upper limit to it…no 100% is not the top percentage.

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