Work irks part 2 (hopefully rolling)


I seem to be the only person in our office who ever unloads the dishwasher.
Wanna go on strike but I need to eat porridge and then I’ll have a dirty bowl and I’m not gonna be the kind of person who leaves their dirty bowl out above the still full of clean stuff DW because I’m not a nob.


Get your own bowl and handwash it after use. Lock it in your draw when not in use.
If anyone says something just say you’re a germaphobe and they leave you alone.
I’ve got a full set of plate bowl cup knife fork etc in my draw


I just got a twix out the vending machine at work that was three months out of date.


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eat it, report back with findings / results


heavy footed people. Don’t get it. There are a few in our office. One is a woman who can’t be more than 5.2 and maybe 8 st. How does she make so much noise when walking ?


Probably not the right place to ask but

I’m heavily considering getting a degree in something that I’m sure I’d love and be good at

I have no money though

How do tuition loans work? It’s saying it’s £6000 a year normally but says I can get a loan, but would the loan cover the full cost or just some of it?

How does anyone do this shit? How is it even possible to save for a deposit on a house? I genuinely don’t understand. I try to use my money to enjoy myself because even if I did save every penny I wouldn’t even be remotely close.

Feeling a bit fed up about it, feel trapped in customer services and like I’m gonna die doing this bollocks. I hate it and I am completely wasted here.

oh yeah there’s a career thread isn’t there, please ignore this


Can’t remember if we have a “work bullshit” thread, but here sort of works and this snippet from an email I’ve just received certainly qualifies.

Why are we upgrading?

The upgrade will create a lot of opportunities to leverage on new functionality to make our service management processes more efficient, along with a more pleasant and modern user experience.

The upgrade is critical to ensure we maintain adherence to the product’s lifecycle, meaning continued vendor support and adherence to industry best practice.


Just got live and dev environments messed up and have DoS’d our biggest client and our webservices by sending them 150,000 updates in one go

Fucks sake, may get a massive bollocking for this


Have you tried leveraging the new functionality to maintain adherence to the product’s lifecycle? That might work?


Just had to send a third amended invoice to a new client cos I keep missing out details IDIOT DICKHEAD


I have no idea what this means.

I mean, I understand the terms on their own but together it stops making sense.

It probably won’t make sense if you explain it though.

Edit - I get it now.


Just closed an absence from work which lasted 4 days - I genuinely was feeling ill (and still am, a bit) - I was going to extend it to 5 days. I might as well have done, since at the NHS, my department allegedly doesn’t question absences which are up to 7 days in a row, you just self-certify as being ill (after that you need ‘proof’ e.g. a doctor’s note).

But of course that horrible nagging feeling in the back of my head told me I probably should go back to work, since y’know, I’ve had 4 days off which is a lot. Even though in all honesty, I’m still not 100% well (but I’ll probably just about manage one day, I guess). So I closed the absence and now I’m going back to work, out of guilt and obligation.

Currently not sure I’ve made the right decision but I guess if I had another day off, it would be ruined anyway by this nagging ‘I really should be back at work’ feeling.

But objectively, I could have easily had today off as well and it probably would not have been a problem. Why am I such a coward?


Yeah, now that I’m back at work, I can definitely say I made the wrong decision coming back since apparently there is a bug going round (so my extended absence would have appeared legitimate anyway) and some other colleagues have had 4/5/more days off as well. If only I knew that…

I hate decisions like this where you have to make a decision based on no useful information available, meaning you either have to do something you don’t want to do but at least you have certainty you won’t get in trouble, or take a risk, but that’s just life I guess.


Those last two posts ring very familiar to me. I can remember going through the very same thought processes. The result for me was anxiety, depression, medication, long-term sick leave and eventually constructive dismissal. It took me three years to get over.

You need to leave that job, and you should probably go to your GP as well.


Even though I’ve always wanted to just quit, I’ve always been hesitant to actually do this because a) money talks and for all the bullshit and Sunday evenings of dread, it’s quite nice having an income, and b) I am actually concerned about the consequences of having a gap on my CV - not having another job lined up seems a bit like leaving the EU without a deal or something.

But… now it turns out I have no choice but to quit anyway, because I have a holiday booked for the end of July and someone else on my team has already booked that week off (can’t have more than 1 person per ‘team’ (of about 4 of us) absent at the same time (even though the contract just says we should give at least 2 weeks notice for all annual leave, my department have come up with their own additional petty rule to make our lives even more difficult and inconvenient). Therefore, the only way I can actually go on my holiday now is if I quit my job in enough time…

It also looks like it’s going to be really difficult for me to book time off for future job interviews as well, since so many people have days booked off over the next couple of months. So just quitting altogether is starting to look like something I actually need to do now. I’ll have a very serious think about it over the weekend at least, maybe speak to my union rep before making a big decision.

I’ve been led to believe maybe this is all ‘just work’ since this is my first full-time job, but really I think it’s more likely the case it is just a shit job which I should have stayed well away from right from the start. Honestly the whole patronising, sodding nature of the department and utterly shoddy management doesn’t seem to account for the fact that we’re human beings with lives outside the building. At least 2 of the managers seem like pretty dodgy people to me who really should not be managers, very unprofessional and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them had a criminal record or something. They have such low standards and employ absolutely anyone, which probably explains why lots of annoying people and teenagers work here (sorry if that sounds a bit snobby, but I’m not really used to such levels of shittiness, which again probably skews my view compared to the people there who don’t complain and actually think the out of date broken facilities are ok and that they’re treated fine)


This is normal and not unreasonable, and also you always run the risk with annual leave that there’ll be a reason they can’t approve the days off that you wanted. Put your leave request in before you book your holiday. The 2 week limit doesn’t mean anything outside of that gets approved!
(NB I’m not saying you shouldn’t quit)

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This belongs in the tory thread


A few months ago we were ‘upgraded’ to Office 365. Since then, it’s become nigh on impossible to use. The number of times I click on a cell and nothing happens because something’s happening in the background of another workbook is inordinate. And irritating as fuck.


Fucking nightmare isn’t it.