Work irks part 2 (hopefully rolling)


Someones got don’t stop believing as a ringtone and it’s driving everyone mad


Hold on to that feeling


I just keep dropping lyrics into the normal convo to make it worse tbf


I do the same job I have done for 3 years, but am now in a different team.
The following things do my nut in
-daily standup meetings
-hassled to give monthly updates to a site nobody reads
-get paid about £3-6k under market value
-no perks
-no training of any use
Would like to leave, but would need to move to somewhere awful like cardiff, stoke or other random parts of the world with 2 small kids, which aint happening


This stand up meetings thing, where the fuck has it come from?

My old team do stand ups when there’s a change that might involve questions…ok I can begrudgingly accept that.

My new team, of far higher paid people (I’m not one, sadly) have one every morning where they have to chuck a ball to speak then they discuss what they did yesterday, what they’re doing today, and what the barriers are and how everyone can help them.

My “yes and ho” quip amused half of them, but landed me in hot water with my new managers.


I have regular calls which they either call “stand ups” (I dial in and make sure I’m sitting at my desk) or Pulse calls. A couple of additions to buzzword bingo 2018 edition right there.


its part of the Agile Development life cycle

Other people who are not in Agile Scrum teams have adopted it too

  • Agile
  • Development
  • Life
  • Cycle

0 voters


Boobs, Guns, Freedom, Beer, Trump*


Work implemented two-factor authentication to access the VPN from somewhere other than the work network. I don’t have a work mobile phone (and don’t want one) so selected the option to use my desk phone (I know). My elaborate call forwarding to my mobile did not work and now I cannot log in


IT just sent a circular to say inbound calls do not currently work. I am absolved of any wrongdoing!


Visible Panty Network*


colleague: hi supreme Lord safari, you spent years designing the processes I use at work, what should I do in this scenario after making a silly, stupid error

me: you should do this (taking time and effort to explain how and what to do)


hour later

colleague: Manager X (on the same grade as oh Lord Supreme safari) says I shouldn’t do that, despite having no knowledge of how the system works, attending any training, and having only a rudimentary understanding of the issue. What should I do now?

Me: never ask me anything again


Work just implemented TFA on our Yammer network,EVEN IF we are logged on from inside the office.

Like fuck can I be arsed doing that just to read (a) requests for help from someone in central Europe, (b) some Yank constantly linking to his own Twitter account to #build his #personalbrand, © everyone in the Indian firm posting Hello world messages in the worldwide all company channel.

In other news, work is wondering why hardly anyone uses Yammer.


Drove to work wearing sunglasses this morning because of the sun. When I got out of my car a colleague who was having a fag in the car park said “Who’s this, the Blues Brothers?”. For further background, I am wearing jeans.

Hard to say exactly what has irked me about this so much, but so much it has.


this would irk me intensely


Yet there was only one of you?

I would have half laughed half puffed in a manner which would have left him wondering if i really did find his comment amusing.


if this was me I’d have spent all day thinking of great “and who’s this, _____” responses to absolutely knock him off his pedestal, and lamented not thinking of it at the time


Mate, everybody needs somebody to ask if they’re the blues brother


You should have taken off your sunglasses and said, “No, it’s me: The_Excession. Didn’t you recognise me, you fucking dickhead?”