Work irks part 2 (rolling)

Had another one today - “oh I’m going to Australia from December 11th until the new year, so could we please not schedule the next committee meeting for the first week of the month as I may be stressed”

My heart
It breaks for you
:broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

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Deputy head sent an a whole staff email today to cancel next week’s staff meeting.

She then sent a follow up email an hour later saying that we had to use the time gained by this cancelled meeting to continue to work on “the various tasks set by your line managers”

Oh right. Cos we were just going to play hopscotch or twiddle or thumbs. Thanks for clearing that up.

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there’s a new guy who won’t stop. earlier today he was driving me insane. imagine this but with three times as many questions:

him: “have you got a partner?”
me: “yeah”
“boyfriend or girlfriend.”
“uh, girlfriend.”
“so how long have you been with your gf?”
“about 8 years.”
“and what does she do?”
“[occupation]”
“does she like it?”
“yeah.”
“did she have to go to uni for that?”
“yeah”
“did you go to uni?”
“no”
“how come?”
“[reasons]”
“did you never fancy it?”
“[repeat reasons]”
“so what’s your career plan?”
“[shrug]”
“and how long has your gf been in her career?”
“[length of time]”
“did she go to uni in this city?”
“yeah”
“she didn’t fancy going somewhere else?”
“[blank look]”
“you never wanted to do what she does, i take it?”
“[shrug]”
“why not?”
“[shrug]”
“so how’d you end up working here?”
“i just…i just applied and, uh, got the job.”
“and do you like it?”
“not really.”
“why not?”
“FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF. STOP ASKING ME SHIT. I DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS, I DON’T WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. STOP TRYING TO GET TO KNOW ME WHAT THE FUCK.”**

also he’s a proper fanboi so if he hears someone criticising something he likes like batman or some shit he gets really defensive (this is quite funny tho tbh)

**didn’t actually say this bit i just went for a jammie dodger and a cigarette

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Sounds like a nice bloke, tbh. Interested in people.

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Better be nice, with those people skills he could be your boss very soon

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Within a week he’s going to have a shrine to you in his basement.

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“did you see my email?”

did I reply ? No, therefore probably not.

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Hastily searches through archived messages

Ohh… That email!

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One of my work irks is people who don’t look at their emails, or constantly have a backlog of several hundred, when they know that a lot of work communication goes on by email.

Worse still are the people who do this, but also send you an emails about queries, when you’ve already sent them the answer to what they’re asking by email.

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Although I didn’t really get on with my previous manager, he did teach me the art of the sarcastic "please see my previous email of (date), (approximate sending time) with the required information. The more people that were copied in, the more withering the response.

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I actually don’t know how those people sleep at night.

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Hi.

We’re busy and you’re just not important enough, soz!

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i think he is 12 years old tbh. today (again, there were actually way more questions):

him: “so i heard you bought spider-man the game?”
me: “uh…yeah.”
“is it good?”
“it’s fun, sure.”
“what about the web slinging, is that good?”
“sure?”
“it looks like the grappling from arkham knight, don’t you think.”
“i guess.”
“do you think it’s better than arkham knight?”
“i guess.”
“are you serious? better than arkham knight?”
“idk.”
“i’m looking at metacritic and the arkham games have a pretty high average. do you know how high?”
“idk.”
“easily in the 90s. is spider-man in the 90s?”
“idk.”
“i’m gonna look. can you guess what spider-man has?”
“[blink]”
“it’s not as high as arkham asylum.”
“[idk why i asked this] i thought you were on about city?”
“i don’t care. do you put a lot of faith in game reviews?”
“i…uh…i…”
“i find it sad. game reviews don’t matter. have you played arkham city?”
“yeah.”
“did you like it?”
“it was alright. batmobile sucked.”
“that was the best bit, why don’t you like it”
“[thinking i’d won this one] because it made no sense. why didn’t scarecrow just glue his henchmen to the drones thus making it impossible for batman to fight them without killing people?”

here he just stared at me for ages. things got scary so i went for another jammie dodger/cigarette combo.

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if this keeps up i’ll have a nice lung tumour/diabetes combo by the end of autumn

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Really enjoying these

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They need a rolling thread of their own, don’t they?

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Is he on the spectrum?

no, he’s just overly keen on making friends. i’ve worked with people on the spectrum before so i know what to look for, i would never make fun of someone who couldn’t help stuff like that.

Jeez just talk to the guy!

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The centre-piece of the shrine will be a life size replica of you.

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