One other person who now works in another department also said they found her very rude, and I also recall a moment at the end of the day after everyone left where she said ‘right, I’m going to tell this person off tomorrow for not doing their job properly!’
I understand obviously you’re not going to get on with everyone and I can cope with that, but I feel like I’m actually under attack sometimes when this person criticises me for not doing something properly (or when there simply wasn’t enough time to do it and it was beyond my or anyone else’s control), I actually get that fight-or-flight anxiety where I feel like I have to defend and explain myself - and I’m not given space to explain myself, the whole management style is that it’s your fault your fault your fault - get cross with that person until they improve. Again - maybe that’s why I’m not thinking rationally about this because I’m not in a rational state of mind when it happens, so maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it isn’t bullying in some people’s opinions, so maybe I shouldn’t bother trying to do something about it, and just let it eat me.
Now I’m paranoid that she’s reported me for my defensive behaviour from yesterday (got some strange vibes from her manager), and (now) that maybe it’s all in my head and so (1) there’s nothing I can do and (2) that I’ve just made things a lot worse by retaliating and being rude back. (3) I’m possibly just an entitled idealistic prick for demanding to be treated with respect and like an adult - that’s not how the real horrible illiberal world of work outside home/school/uni etc. works so how dare I?!
I’m not sure I can cope actually, this is awful. I’m getting that feeling where your throat dries up and you don’t want to eat anything - because all of a sudden maybe everything I’ve thought is just distorted and it’s not bullying, and that maybe I’m the bully for taking it so personally.