#2195

Yes, although the NHS does have quite a noted bullying problem:

So based on that I have reason to believe where I currently am happens to be a particularly bad example, not typical of ‘what working life is like’ in all jobs. I bet (in fact I know) there are others on here who’ve had similar jobs to mine who will tell you the exact same thing.

I was actually perfectly content (and even quite happy) working here to begin with (it suddenly got awful around Christmas), and in my previous part-time job (which may or may not count). So I don’t really buy into the ‘if you’re miserable, put up with it and do nothing, because this is normal’ type argument. In fact it sounds really right-wing to me.

#2196

Exactly mate. Quit. I think that is your only option.

#2197

Ok, so do what I and others have said and leave. But you also can’t expect other places to be radically different.

1 Like
#2198

Oh, and kindly fuck off with the right-wing insults

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#2200

Sorry @laelfy, I didn’t mean it like that and I’m horrified if that’s how it comes across.

#2201

I also apologise for being petulant and snotty in this thread and also a rubbish shitty human being in general. I need to grow up, stop being so childish and ridiculous and act my age.

(Since SAD’s post is probably going to be stamped with 50+ likes, I’ll take that as sign I’m awful and that I should at least make all your lives better by getting away from this place if nothing else.)

#2202

We’re still using windows 7 :disappointed_relieved:

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#2203

Aye, same! We only got that about a year ago.

#2204

Sorry but I can’t handle being called those adjectives then several people liking it.

#2206

You need to appreciate that a lot of people here have given you advice, insight after years of working in offices, tried to help but every time you brush people off like we’re talking crap and you don’t wanna hear it that these gripes you have happen everywhere. We’re not just saying it’s a case of “work is shit, deal with it” but if you look hard enough at every single workplace, you will find something that you don’t like or pisses you off. You will find people who are rude and bully people. You will be put into situations you don’t like and guess what, you have to deal with them or go find a new job.
You have to learn certain skills working in offices because not all of them, even big huge corporations and workplaces, have their shit together or are perfect. Most of those skills are just ignoring it and getting on with stuff, coping in the ways you know how to cope.

If you genuinely feel this one person is consistently bullying you and treating you unfairly, you need to speak to someone at work about it and file a report. You cannot expect it to change and you also cannot live your live looking for fault and seeming to try to catch them out in other ways.

14 Likes
#2207

To be honest my mental health suddenly got a lot worse last night when I was called petulant and snotty (I don’t think I’ve acted in a way that deserves being called that if I’m being honest but whatever, I thought that was a bit cruel and OTT but if people are going to spin it like that and make me look like a monster then I’ll just stop using this place), to the point where work suddenly seems alright now.

#2209

We got upgraded last autumn from Windows 7 to the latest version (10?) as part of our first IT refresh in 7-8 years. Total switchover - Office 365, OneDrive, cloud storage, touch screens.

It may have been too much of a jump for some.

1 Like
#2210

I think this is good advice. Assertiveness, resilience and assurance are all key soft skills in office environments and most of us learn them over the course of our careers rather than land in an office for the first time with them well honed. I know I didnt have them when I started out, but I feel like they’ve served me well over the years in work and out…and I’m far from the loudest person in any room.

Assertive challenge is entirely appropriate in work imo. Obviously bullying is another issue, but it’s a judgement call only you can take whether you feel it is or not.

2 Likes
#2211

Oh for sure. I cannot believe the shit I used to put up with in my first and second job. Now I’ve actually got the balls to stand up for myself when it comes to people being mean/rude/bullying me or others, even just calling people out on their sexist/homophobic/racist shit.
It’s definitely the thing you learn from experience. I’ve had a lot of odd workplaces and worked with a lot of shit characters but tbh if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be nowhere near as assertive as I am now. I spoke with my manager here about someone being a dick and she’s a confident, successful woman in our company and she gave me the best pep talk about how to not take any shit from anyone in this place.

But sometimes, you know when a workplace isn’t right for you and you move on. I did 6 months at a job before my current one which I hated SO MUCH cause of the environment only. There was nothing I could do to change it, it was uncomfortable and I tried my best but I couldn’t deal with it so I started looking elsewhere. Now I absolutely kick myself that I didn’t stand up for myself or say more. I replay it over and over in my head when that fucking cow said “hey cyclops!!” when I first returned to work after someone broke my eyesocket! Oh man if I could go back in time, I’d love to humiliate her but instead I said “heh”

3 Likes
#2212

Ha, yes absolutely this. Still remember one of my early bosses - there was only me and another guy in the department and we were both temps. She went off on leave, didn’t leave us any work to do, and then went tore strips off us both when she came back and not much work had been done. Not sure quite what she expected? Same boss also went nuclear on us when we asked her if we were going to get our promised pay rises and any chance of permanent contracts. Said we were putting her over a barrel as we could just leave at no notice and leave her in the shit…err yes that’s because you won’t make us anything other than temps?? Same boss also stormed out of a meeting demanding to know where the mugs in her office were and when we said we’d put them in the dishwasher for her, tried to get us to put our hands into boiling hot dishwasher mid-cycle to retrieve molten cups there and then. Was visibly irritated when we declined the offer of inducing nasty burns…

Still kick myself now that I gave her a month’s notice rather than the one week in my temp contract (or more realistically the none that temps often give) so that I didn’t actually leave her in the shit when I got a permanent job…and even after all of that she still gave me a lousy reference :joy:

Would love to meet her again now!

1 Like
#2213

Some people just shouldn’t be bosses cause they really have no idea how to act!

I had this also where I worked at a bakery and I kept asking for a proper contract and they kept putting it off so in the end, I found a new job and gave a weeks notice…and they HIT THE ROOF. Really really made me feel like a shit awful person for leaving them in it with just a weeks notice!! What do you expect if you don’t want to give someone a contract?!

1 Like
#2214

i sat on the other side of the office where the tables are empty so i could be alone with my thoughts this week (it’s the more obnoxious team members rota’d on atm). and now everyone has gravitated over to my desk because it seems i am “fun and chill”, which is touching but also pressure.

irk status: mild

5 Likes
#2215

Please try to take some responsibility for this. You called her right wing because she gave you some advice you didn’t like after you asked for advice. That’s why you got called petulant and snotty.

You got called petulant and snotty, once, and are now making out like multiple people are calling you a monster. Your emotional reaction here is disproportionate to what actually happened and given how you’ve reacted to some normal things at your work, eg someone who knows a former employee getting a job and not being able to take holiday when half your team will already be off, does make me suspect that a lot of your unhappiness at work could be down to a tendency to react disproportionately. I’m not saying that’s definitely the case but maybe it’s worth thinking about exploring that with someone like a counsellor?

2 Likes
#2216

The responsibility of being the social heart of a team is heavy.

1 Like
#2217

I have the opposite problem to this today - only half the people in my room are in today, and it’s everyone on the opposite side of the room to me. lights keep turning off down my end because I’m not moving enough and there’s no-one else to trigger the motion sensors. plus it’s weirdly quiet as a result so just seems odd.

4 Likes