Work irks part 2 (rolling)

Also for me it shows appreciation in advance

IMO it isn’t a magic word, as a lot of people have been taught. A request that is otherwise rudely phrased doesn’t magically become polite by adding it (“oi you, pick that up off the floor for me… please”) and a request that is otherwise politely phrased isn’t rude just because it’s missing it (“sorry to trouble you, do you think you’ll be able to send me that report when you’ve got a sec?”). There are multiple ways to signal politeness and rudeness and I think the reason people get hung up on this specific one is “elbows off the table” logic IMO - a lot of people have been taught that arbitrary conventions originally intended to signal niceness are more important than actually being nice.


I have this weird thing where I feel like I’m being demanding when I say please, actually find it hard to include it in a message/email for this reason

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Same. There’s definitely a difference between ‘I’d like X, please’, when asked what your preference is, and ‘Do X, please’ or ‘Please do X’ as an instruction disguised as a request.

Hence favouring the classic format of ‘I’d be obliged if you could…’. I don’t really know the language terms, but is the difference because that’s the ‘passive voice’ (compared to an ‘active voice’ on the other examples)?

Wouldn’t dream of asking someone at work to do something without saying please.


Sometimes have to remove a please, “please could you send over the files and the originals from the group interviews this afternoon when you get a chance, please?”


Ok so kindly

  • Basically fine
  • Like nails on a blackboard

0 voters

  • Bit weird but I’m not going to give it any thought if someone says it to me

0 voters

Similarly, I think I use

“If you’re able to [insert request], I’d really appreciate it”

quite a lot

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i think youre all overthinking it. kindly

Personally I’d rather have an unambiguous one-line instruction with no “please” than a circuitous email with a “how are you?” and a “please” and other padding if the ask is the same. It might be good manners to say please, but it’s great manners to not waste my time.


The office is now horrifically loud.

People are not respecting the room booking system and are hogging the quiet rooms.

Can’t wait to get out of this hell (and then go to a potentially worse version of hell)

He’s still doing this but now he’s shifted up a gear by getting involved in giving people who are slightly newer than him advice on teaching subjects he doesn’t teach. He is still very loudly enthusiastic about everything and everyone but now he wants everyone to know whatever inane shite he’s come up with in his classes.

He also spent ten minutes proudly announcing that he’d never been on social media.

Teaching attracts a hell of a lot of really odd people. It’s a close call as to who is worse, the folk with too much personality or the folk with none.


What’s his DiS username?

I also nearly made this joke but have been so low-key concerned that he might actually post here that I didn’t want to curse my good luck.

If he were here, he would only post on the Music board and probably politics threads.

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colleague asks for a meeting with me

me ‘sure, my working hours are 10am-3pm’

colleague sends meeting invite for 9am :woman_facepalming:


had to move desks yesterday cause someone came in at 12 and stood next to me for ages then eventually said i had to move cause his stuff is on this desk his stuff is the gaming mouse he’s bought. ok!!

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3 men came to me tell me i had to store their suitcases and i said no. they said they couldn’t take them to the room they needed to go to cause it was too far so i said they could book a taxi and they said that’s ridiculous cause it’s only about 300 metres away. i didn’t really know how to help so was just like ‘i walk there carrying things all the time i don’t know what to say’ and this guys just arguing with me but like you’ve come from somewhere with these bags i don’t know why you’re stopping here. anyway he had a huff and said he’ll store them in his office.



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