Work irks

So I’m leaving on friday -
today i have been moved off the project i was working on (and was very unlikely to get finished before i leave - but could get into a really good place to hand over to a freelancer to finish off), and have been asked to start a new project, which i won’t get anywhere near to finishing, so will also have to be handed over to a freelancer to finish off.

So instead of handing over nearly finished project which would just need some tweaks, and a full project which someone could tackle using their preferred methodology, we are going to end up with one half finished thing and a barely started thing which they are then going to farm out to some poor sap who is going to have to battle with my badly organised workflow / files / assets / everything


literally makes no sense

(also just been pulled off the new project to make some ‘urgent’ amends to something - so none of this shit is going to get anywhere near done!)


don’t have any (work)

Every single US colleague is a fucking liability.

web developers don’t believe in deadlines.

For a technology company, with IT and a substantial engineering department on site, things that are broken take a hell of a long time to get fixed (and then usually only last a matter of days before breaking again)

Shit (to put it kindly) communication between departments.

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Numbskull in IT at one of my clients who habitually ignores my questions and answers what he wants to hear instead.

AT: This file looks much larger than expected. Can you confirm you filtered by x, y, x?

Client IT person: Let me know if the format is ok then I’ll make the same changes to the others

AT: This updated list of products is an order of magnitude larger than the previous version. I would not expect this for 6 months of new sales. What is the row count?

Client IT person: Please download and check the format then I’ll send the other two files.

AT: I’m trying to load it in SQL to verify. I’m 330k rows in (the same size as last time) but the progress bar is at about 5%. What is the row count?

Client IT person: 10 million

AT: That’s 30x bigger than expected. 10 million seems high for a list of [company]'s products. Could you check the query.

Client IT person: I’m not familiar with this database.



ha ha!

we have this sort of shit ALL the time! I thought, maybe naively, that they might slightly take into account that i’m not here again after Friday to schedule in my workload BUT OH NO DON’T BE SILLY

Reckon in I’m for a bit of a shoeing at my annual appraisal for choosing to not be professionally negligent rather than meet a performance target.

And I’d do it again, too.

Christ, this is a dull post.


i enjoyed it

10 on 10


You should’ve changed the names to Roscoe and Marlon.


Jeez guys you all need to grow up. These people are MANAGERS, they probably have way more important things to prioritise over your pathetic workloads. Stop imagining anyone gives a shit if your crappy projects do or don’t get done.

here is a meeting request i have been sent

'Easter catch up
When: Tue 14/02/2017 15:30 - 16:00
Where: Meeting Room

15 minutes
Show as

Add an email reminder
To discuss progress, and how to best utilise your time on Weds / Thurs / Fri.’

so it sounds liek they DO give a crap about my crappy projects!!!


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Irk, irk, irk, irk, irk

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Work people thinking because we work together we’re friends. Nope, i literally forget you exist outside of the hours 9-5 Monday to Friday.

Still the woman behind me making loud grunting noises

they’ve done you there it’s not Easter today

the project i’m working on is an easter marketing campaign thing to be launched at easter - hence ‘EASTER’

had to do a work station health and safety asessment form the other week. one of the questions was “does your chair have a five star base and adjustable height?” heard someone make the joke “it’s alright but i dunno if I’d give it five stars!” on three separate occasions in one day.