Work's Christmas Joke Thread

Ski-on Indian

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Toro y Moi-ry Christmas!!!

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What is Rudolf’s favourite film?

There’s Something About Merry Christmas

‘Clarkey’ now…

What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

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Best one yet

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That’s good.

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‘The Hally and the Ivy’ with the first of two entries…

My Christmas decorations are inflatable.

I’m forever blowing baubles

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Ah no

Because he’s got farther to run on the huely spirit?

Nope. I’ll keep trying.

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And their second one…

Which author steals train sets from under Christmas trees?

Nick Hornby

If it doesn’t get used before, I’ll unleash this upon my unsuspecting colleagues at 4:30pm tonight.

Along with my own submission.

Edit: Just the gag, not the anecdote.

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Got a temp job chauffeuring the TV chef Ken around for the next few weeks

I’m driving Hom for Christmas

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Think this might have been a Jordan thread originally

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Who’s Santa’s favourite rapper?

Sleigh-Z

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How does Santa treat his workforce on Christmas Eve?
He gives them the sack*

*unemployment or his own balls, dealers choice

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what’s santa’s favourite problematic thrash metal band? sleigher

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It’s all slowed down somewhat, mercifully.

But ‘Woot-Woot’ has come up with this - including sound effects!

Why do you never see Santa in hospital?
(Then they ask for a drum roll…)

He has private elf care

Tory wanker

‘Jonesy’ again…

What’s worse that Rudolph with a runny nose?

Frosty the snowman with a hot flush

AND

What does Santa do in his garden?

He hoe hoe hoes

I think I’m going to ask them do to some work.

Precisely! The “man” at the end is instrumental to the joke!