Worst compliment you've ever received


The gf said she got a good feeling from our first date because “wasn’t at all charming”. She says she meant that I was genuine, but she was more right the first time.


Before we were going out, my friend who went on to introduce said to my now other half “You should go out with Rob. He’s single”, as if I had nothing else going for me


When I was eleven a boy in my class said ‘nice legs, shame about the rest’. Stuck with me ever since.


A DiSer who should not be named any more for Reasons said to me “you’re not as fat as I thought you’d be”


Was singing to my daughter on holiday and someone told Mrs Stack that I “sound like Mr Tumble”


(yes i know he’s very inclusive and a force for good)


My now wife says the first she saw me I looked like a dweeb and I acted like a prick all evening. Four short years later she messages me and we reconnect.

Wait that’s an insult.


Mr Tumble lol
you got fooking rekt


Actually the worst compliment was when I was mistaken for Tom from Keane back in 2006 at the height of their fame.





The two i get are:

‘You’re dry’ - which means ‘you’re boring but try to be funny’.


‘You’re quite bonny’ - which means you’re not handsome but kind of okay looking instead of ugly (when said to a man, when said to a woman it’s a pretty nice compliment i think).


“I love your fat”

Probably an actual compliment to some people but BLEUGH, hideous phrasing for me Clive.


My girlfriend’s mum told me I was ‘quite handsome with my glasses off’
I wear my glasses almost all the time


Thinly veiled “takes his glasses off for sex” post


Some drunk guy said I looked like a handsome Diego Costa on Saturday.



‘you’re a fat andrea pirlo’

after a 5 a side a few years ago.


We were watching something where people were saying their partners made them feel safe. I asked my wife if I made her feel safe. ‘Well I suppose safer than if you weren’t here or no one was here’.


Girlfriend when I was 19 said

“I was thinking that, even though you’re not Brad Pitt or anything, you’re really attractive in your own way.”


I’ve never been complimented by someone who wasn’t trying to sell me something


Zero resemblance.


have numerous times had those kind of pitying comments along the “hot for a bald man” line of thinking.

“You don’t need hair!”

Yeah cheers cunt

Edit I should add that the latter sometimes gets said to me without prompt and that’s when it’s shit