Worst compliment you've ever received

The gf said she got a good feeling from our first date because “wasn’t at all charming”. She says she meant that I was genuine, but she was more right the first time.

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Before we were going out, my friend who went on to introduce said to my now other half “You should go out with Rob. He’s single”, as if I had nothing else going for me

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When I was eleven a boy in my class said ‘nice legs, shame about the rest’. Stuck with me ever since.

A DiSer who should not be named any more for Reasons said to me “you’re not as fat as I thought you’d be”

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Was singing to my daughter on holiday and someone told Mrs Stack that I “sound like Mr Tumble”

I FUCKING HATE MR TUMBLE

(yes i know he’s very inclusive and a force for good)

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My now wife says the first she saw me I looked like a dweeb and I acted like a prick all evening. Four short years later she messages me and we reconnect.

Wait that’s an insult.

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Mr Tumble lol
you got fooking rekt

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Actually the worst compliment was when I was mistaken for Tom from Keane back in 2006 at the height of their fame.

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SING IT

The two i get are:

‘You’re dry’ - which means ‘you’re boring but try to be funny’.

or

‘You’re quite bonny’ - which means you’re not handsome but kind of okay looking instead of ugly (when said to a man, when said to a woman it’s a pretty nice compliment i think).

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“I love your fat”

Probably an actual compliment to some people but BLEUGH, hideous phrasing for me Clive.

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My girlfriend’s mum told me I was ‘quite handsome with my glasses off’
I wear my glasses almost all the time

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Thinly veiled “takes his glasses off for sex” post

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Some drunk guy said I looked like a handsome Diego Costa on Saturday.

Terrible

‘you’re a fat andrea pirlo’

after a 5 a side a few years ago.

We were watching something where people were saying their partners made them feel safe. I asked my wife if I made her feel safe. ‘Well I suppose safer than if you weren’t here or no one was here’.

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Girlfriend when I was 19 said

“I was thinking that, even though you’re not Brad Pitt or anything, you’re really attractive in your own way.”

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I’ve never been complimented by someone who wasn’t trying to sell me something

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Zero resemblance.

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A chugger said to me the other day ‘oh I would never have guessed you were that old’

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