Worst excuses

Probably could but it would have to have been the length of a long street. Not sure the highway code would approve.

I used to be in charge of managing attendance at a call centre so I’d be getting 5-10 calls bunking off work every single day. It really is impressive how often people seem to get food poisoning. Best excuses I had were the ones who said ‘I’m just really hungover’ and got upset when I told them they still had to come in.


we had someone not turn up for an interview the other day because they were “too engrossed” in their current work and forgot to attend. they didn’t get the job.


Once used the excuse of ‘sore bollocks’ to pull a sickie calculating that my supervisor wouldn’t believe anyone would be demented enough make this up.

How wrong she was.


also i can never use the excuse “have to wfh, having a sofa delivered” ever again because i had to legitimately use it three times in two weeks (got two, one didn’t get delivered on the first day because they “got lost”) and for about two years any time i wasn’t in the office i got “new sofa eh?” off my manager


I’m pretty much out of the sickie game now, having a toddler requires so many additional days off for sickness / nursery closures etc I’m having to fudge the legitimate reasons for being at home, let alone make up additional ones.

We had a temp who was late once because there was a bee in his room.

Once overheard a colleague take a call from someone calling in sick in advance for thursday. It was tuesday.

Most elaborate excuse has to be another temp who turned up at lunchtime one day saying that his dad locked him in the house by accident and he couldn’t call in because he’d dropped his phone down the toilet and it wasn’t working, so he had to wait for his dad to come home for lunch. He was later seen using the “broken” phone.

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Maybe he’d found a bowl of rice


The other week my boss was trying to get volunteers to go to some tedious conference in Paris next week and I toyed with the idea of telling him I don’t have a valid passport.


Prior to the foot and mouth outbreak there used to be free-roaming cattle on Wanstead Flats (historically, it was where farmers would fatten up their livestock before taking them into Smithfield Market, and why there are cattle grids around Leyonstone, Wanstead and Woodfood). They used to wander around where we live. eg

It wasn’t uncommon to see cows stood on a driveway eating flowers in a garden, blocking cars in, or just stood in the high road, blocking traffic. It used to be the go to excuse for people being late. I mean, who’s going to argue with a huge cow?


I used to use this but after the 7th or 8th time my manager got a bit suspicious so I changed it to Blackburn Rovers


Once had someone go AWOL for 3 or 4 days. When he eventually got in contact, he’d apparently fallen while mountain climbing in Wales, was rescued by mountain rescue helicopter and had to spend a couple of days in hospital.

Same fella also rang in ‘sick’ for a week or so from a US phone number…

You’ll be surprised to learn he eventually got sacked for constantly throwing sickies.


Can’t find the post but someone on here once had a colleague who was late because they said they had been up since 2 in the morning. Just…what.

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Is it just me that thinks this is OK? Insomnia is real, and if you’re in a safety critical role, or even otherwise, it can have a profound effect on your productivity and usefulness.


You have solved a mystery for me. Always puzzled me that there was one on Woodford New Rd (or is it Lea Bridge Rd?) just as you come off the N Circular. They only got rid of it a couple of years ago IIRC

Seems like a perfectly reasonable excuse for not coming in at all, but if you were awake anyway and had decided to come in surely you should be on time?



Someone once locked themselves in their flat and couldn’t find the keys to let themselves out to come to work.

One girl at my last place went home crying at lunch time because she had a cold sore

Another time she didnt come in cos her boyfriend was off sick with a cold and she had to look after him

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