One of old school friend’s dad has just been chosen as mayor of [QUAINT MARKET TOWN] and he served on the council for a couple of years and had a weekly column in the local newspaper about his walks around [QUAINT MARKET TOWN] . Within reach I would say
Would probably have to talk to Jonny Mercer. Fuck and no.
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Unfortunately it’s the former
[QUAINT MARKET TOWN] is very different from an inner London borough.
Not even a big chain?
Not even a Ben’s Cookies.
Yep. Just to save all the music venues and and invest in a few Greek restaurants
Of course. And I’d make my first move developing a new winter sports complex.
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Oh I’d be full on corrupt Juke. If you want to get planning for anything in Devon or the freedom of the county or whatever, you need only to ask. I trust you to return the favour, should I ever need one 
You’re telling me!
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DiS football would disagree
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Shit yeah. Do you think it would matter that the Sheriff of Devon had an ex girlfriend who was involved in a minor political scandal and had a habit of selling her story to national newspapers?
you’re such a tease
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That’s genuinely as much as you can know I’m afraid.
It doesn’t actually reflect badly on me so it’ll be fine. Funkhouser for Sheriff!
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Oh you 
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Might as well, my hometown has a cool name and I could probably use public funds to subsidise a thriving drone scene
Also I’m a failure and I still live at home so it wouldn’t involve too much uprooting
Should note that I’m partially joking and have warmed to my hometown despite it being slightly lonely
Hence the publicly subsidised drone scene