Wrapping Presents

To what I’m sure will be everyone’s relief I am about to stop posting and go off and wrap presents for Mrs F’s birthday tomorrow.

I realise I don’t like wrapping presents. The only big surface I can do it on is the floor and after a while it makes my middle-aged bones and joints hurt. I am also very bad at it.

This is a thread for discussing wrapping presents. Do you do it? Do you like doing it? Are you any good at it? That sort of thing.

Right, time to get the sellotape out and start knackering my knees.

Gift bags.

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One of those things, like ironing, that I will always be completely shit at

My wrapping is exquisite after 60 minutes and 10 attempts. CBA these days.

Apparently Candy Spelling (widow of TV producer Aaron Spelling) has three gift wrapping rooms in her house - one for everyday gifts, one with a shrink wrap machine, and one specifically for easter and christmas gifts :upside_down_face:


Is it made of 90 degree angles? Yes- fantastic, I can wrap this and it will look acceptable.

Is it any other shape? WTF is this, what am I doing with the wrapping paper, this looks shit. Let’s fuck it off and put it in a gift bag instead.


Yeah I can just about get something wrapped up after an hour sat on the living room floor getting bits of tape stuck to myself and that, but at the end it doesn’t look too bad. I’m always jealous of my wife, who can effortlessly wrap a present of any shape and size to a professional standard within minutes. I keep telling her she should do it for money at Christmas, reckon there’s a fortune to be made.

If it’s cuboid then I can wrap it to a standard I imagine they giftwrap things in Harrod’s. Clean lines, beautiful stuff.

Any other shape - an absolute monstrosity.

The secret is to only ever by people presents in solid geometric boxes, so much easier to wrap than a fluffy giraffe for example.

Worst Christmas song:

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One present giving season (stupid family!) I’m going to get me one of these fuckers


Are you fucking joking?


Just rush it and then make terrible wrapping a character quirk.

“Oh look I’ve totally cunted this wrapping up, what am I like?! Happy birthday!.”

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Name a worse one.

Best bit about present wrapping: when you’re cutting the wrapping paper and then scissors just slide through the paper.


I usually make the noise that the paper is making while I do it. “Pfffffffffffffft”

I have two styles of wrapping - pretty fucking great and pretty fucking awful - and I have no control over which way they turn out.

It’s an exciting gamble each time. The thrill is quite something.

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I like it:

  • cut lots of little strips of sellotape off and stick them on the back of a chair / corner of a table
  • get some decent, sturdy wrapping paper. gridlines on the back are a bonus
  • nice crisp fold lines on the parcel.

It’s one of the jobs in the CCB household that’s almost exclusively mine.

Driving Home for Christmas (which is fine)

Much better than Christmas Wrapping.