Yes, yes it is. In PRISON

Went for a wee bit of osteopathy today, and before they wrenched my spine back into place the masseur came in to loosen me up a bit. Lying face down with just me keks on and he starts rubbing. Then he casually just pulls the back of my pants down almost completely over my arse cheeks so he can do my lower back properly. Don’t have a problem with this in principle, but shouldn’t they ask before just whipping your bum out for you?

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Why were you worried about skids or something?


could your bum BE any more whipped out?


I would be normally but I’d worn my best pants especially

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So deep down, you were kind of expecting/hoping for this?


oh i almost forgot by a long stretch this wasn’t even the worse thing. osteopath also gave me “a wee bit of accupuncture” afterwards without asking first. I Do Not Like Needles.


If that were the case I would have gone commando.

pants thing is fine, unsolicited acupuncture is not

no, but not wanting to make a scene, I just lay there and took the stabbings of course.

dont really understand the thread title tbh

here you go mate

well of course. I went for an ultrasound on my balls once and they asked if it was okay if some suits from accounts or whatever watched the procedure as they were trialing a new machine and needed to demonstrate it to them. of course that is not fucking okay. of course I said it was fine.


no thanks. please supply a transcript of the scene if this is important to you

Yes, yes it is. In PRRRRRISON!

ok, i look forward to it

Did they manage to keep straight faces/not openly wank during the demo?

there were three of us in that room and none of us were comfortable at all with what was happening. could hear them murmuring stuff like “oh, this IS a much clearer picture isn’t it” and pointing out things on the screen

the worst part was, I’d left the old boy draped over the healthy bollock, but because the guy wanted to show off his new machine he decided that one needed a scanning too. rather than ask me to rearrange myself, he gently lifted it between thumb and forefinger and repositioned it while saying (in the most alan partridge way possible) “I’ll just pop that there for a moment”. find it hilarious in retrospect but at the time it was horrifying


I’d have probably got a massive stiffy off the human contact alone. You did well.


absolutely mortifying. were there any females present?

yeah the accounts suit was a woman which obvs made the whole thing worse