You can go home from work now IF

You first tell your boss the most embarrassing story you have that involves your bum.

  • Doesn’t sound like too much of a bummer, I’m in
  • Sounds like a bum deal
  • Bum

0 voters

You ham up a bit of a cold “that’s going around” and tell your boss you can’t make it through the rest of the day. You will catch up with your work tomorrow, or the next day, if you don’t make it in. Frankly, you’re not sure which way it’s going to go yet.

  • That’s right, I’m going to skive off work today, and maybe tomorrow.
  • No, no. Better get my work done and save my sick leave for when I really need it.

0 voters

Would be the time I got the shits in India and had to squat in a tea plantation, I tell everyone whenever I get the chance, preferably when they’ve just got themselves a nice cup of tea


Yeah so I was really constipated and had to stick my fingers up my ring and break bits of the shit off.

I think I will leave it, thanks.


Mine might be the time when, as a teenager, I was given a surprise rectal exam by a doctor. My mum was in the appointment with me. The doctor started with saying “this might feel a little uncomfortable” as he lubed up what looked like RoboCop’s detachable penis before sticking it up my bum. Then he realised the light on that one didn’t work so he’d need to get a new one. MAYBE CHECK THE NEXT ONE WORKS BEFORE PUTTING IT INSIDE ME, EH DOC?

The embarrassing part was walking back outside the doctor’s office, still feeling the lube between my cheeks, and my mum breaking the silence with “…so, was it a bit uncomfortable then?” while barely keeping the laughs in.

Thanks mum.


*Thanks bum

Our entire department has been invited (obliged to attend) a training day at our company’s premises in Oxford next Tuesday. Half of the department has been made redundant and next Thursday is our last day.

Should we:

  • Go to the training day in Oxford with our colleagues
  • Go to Oxford on expenses and have a nice day there
  • Go to work at our London office as normal
  • Stay at home and pretend we went to Oxford

0 voters

Say you have an interview and don’t attend.

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