You can go home from work now IF......

You tell your boss it’s because you’ve shat yourself. Not “upset stomach” or any of those euphemisms: a clear communication that poo came out of your bum when it wasn’t pointed at a toilet.

  • Not worth it
  • Sure, what’s the downside?

0 voters

Note that you don’t actually have to have shat yourself, although you are free to do a waddle to really sell it.

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All my bosses are #lads who’d probably find it hilarious

You’d be Skiddy Eric for the rest of time though.

It’s not that long till hometime anyway.

Suppose that’s better than miserable eric

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FFS you could have put this in the OP


I’ve got a meeting that isn’t scheduled to start until five, but it’s at the end of a day of presentations that will in no way have kept to the schedule.

More fool you Epimer. More fool you.

I’m not the one who scheduled it, ffs!

Right, I’m changing my vote.

my boss isn’t in, so I’d have to send an email

not sure if that makes it better or worse

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Could put some marmite in your y-fronts and attach a photo for authenticity.

My boss has already gone home so I guess I’ll say it into thin air and scarper

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if you received an email telling you that the recipient had shat themselves and to see the attached photo for proof, would you open it? not sure i could stop myself


Please delete my email address.


could leave a note and take tomorrow off instead?

“going to shit myself so won’t be in tomorrow. bye”


If someone came up to you at work and said “look, I need to go home. I’ve, erm… done a Lineker.” would you get their meaning?

  • Yes
  • Yes, they’ve got a lucrative crisp advertising deal so are quitting with immediate effect

0 voters

Hard to properly appreciate these threads as a flexitime worker. I could leave now without shitting myself if I liked but I am willing to commit the filthy act for the good of the boards.

that’s because they’re shit

Ever looked at the replies to Lineker tweets

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