#1

(if you’re not in work yet you don’t need to come in)

For the rest of the week, every night you’re going to have- and I don’t use this term lightly - powerfully erotic dreams about Piers Morgan. The kind of sex dreams that really stick with you. The kind that make you look at someone in a whole new light. You might end up genuinely fancying him.

  • Ooh yes Piers, I’m your pathetic little millennial snowflake. Offend me, Daddy!
  • What the actual fuck is wrong with you

0 voters

1 Like
#2

Can’t believe you all love work so much tbh

1 Like
#3

Got to ‘powerfully erotic dreams’ and thought ‘yessss! I’m finally getting to go home from work now!’
But what the actual fuck is wrong with you?!

3 Likes
#4

Not at work today, might now have to go in as a precaution against this happening…

11 Likes
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#5

I’m imagining that in one of the dreams, Susanna Reid is watching from a safe distance and it isn’t clear from her expression which person she despises more.

2 Likes
#6

i’ll do anyhting notto have to work today

#7

Hi dmuper how arre ou?

#8

no this is too much for mee

4 Likes
#9

He probably gets quite red in the face, doesn’t he.

#10

Isn’t his default colour already gammon?

#11

Was hoping this thread was going to be “You can go home from work now if you got really hammered watching the cricket yesterday and could really do with a lie down”.

2 Likes
#12

Well that could be how it starts I suppose. Then Piers comes into the room dressed in a replica cricket kit and making suggestive comments about sticky wickets.

2 Likes
#13

Hard to tell under the studio lights.

#14

I opened this thread thinking, “I am not in the mood for this work lark at all - I doubt there’s any stipulation I wouldn’t agree to for a day off right now.”

So well played for finding my limit on that. I’ll stick with work and keep my fingers crossed I have a dream about clubbing PM senseless with a crowbar for 8 straight hours instead.

#15

Love that we’re not even being asked to have actual sex with him and yet still no one can bear to face even imaginary sex with PM.

3 Likes
#16

I’d be fine with a one-off dream, or even one a night for the week - but the idea of it having long term effects that might continue after that … I’ll do my 8 hours and just suffer.

1 Like
#17

What if you could go home from work now IF you nipped into the loos and successfully rubbed one out while unflinchingly staring at a picture of Piers.

  • Way ahead of you
  • Seriously, what’s wrong with your brain

0 voters

#18

God, dont bring Boris into it now

1 Like
#19
  • Piers
  • Boris
  • Please stop

0 voters