You can go home from work now IF... 📨

In your work email signature (sorry for those not on work emailbook), you have to put “I’m a street walkin’ cheetah with a heart full of napalm” until further notice - presumably your boss noticing. None of this white font on white background shite either, at most you can match it to the existing font.

  • Look I’m sorry but wild animals aren’t a part of the brand identity that our amazing marketing team spent months putting together, and I’m simply not going to make a mockery of all of Jimothy and Bethania’s hard work
  • squealing guitar lick

0 voters

Really like the idea of Iggy Pop reading this one and going “fucking FINALLY. Right lads I’m off, get Lamacq in to cover or something, not my problem. Tatty bye.”


Not at work today but anyway, I send about 2 work emails a week to booze suppliers and I really doubt they’d notice. Might even start each one with ‘look out honey, cause I’m using technology, ain’t got time to make no apology’.


I would but I work for a mental health charity and I wouldn’t want to give our clients the wrong idea. I’ll survive.

I’m not in work today but I’m still up for this.

1 Like

I doubt they’d even complain - unless I didn’t also include a Welsh translation.

What is the Welsh for “cheetah” anyway? I’ve always wanted to know.

It’s not very local government to be honest. Though it could be quite fun to see how long it took someone to confront me on it.

Just tell them they’re being no fun.



Dwi’n cheetah cerdded ar y stryd gyda chalon yn llawn o napalm

Just Cheetah apparently. Disappointing.

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how about this

I was off work sick yesterday, had to go to the doctors this morning to get a backdated sicknote, because of some weird law in CZ they had to sign me off today too, so I’m going home to bed.

Fucking LOVE IT

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Joke’s on you, I’m already at home as a result of my no-coffee-agreement, suckas

Your pretty face is going to hell

So you aren’t gonna gimme danger, ya little stranger?

That would contravene workplace health and safety regulations so no.

Well you’re just No Fun

have you ever seen an email signature that didn’t make the sender look like a bell end

  • no
  • yes, once

0 voters

Our corporate one is fine, except it’s got all the social media links in it. Who the fuck wants to follow a chemical sustainable technology company’s Instagram account ffs.

Hey. HEY.