You choose between being allowed to have hot drinks at work or being allowed to poo at work, on penalty of firing, for as long as you work there. Don’t worry about the logistics of the poo monitoring, there are sensors or something. It’s not important.
Work for the rest of the week
No more hot drinks at work
No more being paid to poo
what about leaving a coffee until it’s cold
Wait, so how and when do I poo? Do I have headphones on?
hot drinks and pooing are the only things that make work bearable you monster
so how and when do I poo
On your own time. The mechanics are up to you.
Do I have headphones on?
Only if you don’t want the neighbours to hear you pooing.
Ok so i’m in work, i have two cups of coffee and feel a rumblin’. Now what?
I get to go home? Not sure I get this one
What if the headphones are on but i’m not actually wearing them
Well im not giving up coffee so i guess i poo at caffe nehru now
Can you poo as long as you clock out? Are iced coffees allowed?
Technically yes but it’s going to hurt you on your performance review.
What if you go to the Italian cafe next door, buy and finish your hot drink there and then come back to the office?