You can have the rest of the week off from work IF...

You choose between being allowed to have hot drinks at work or being allowed to poo at work, on penalty of firing, for as long as you work there. Don’t worry about the logistics of the poo monitoring, there are sensors or something. It’s not important.

  • Work for the rest of the week
  • No more hot drinks at work
  • No more being paid to poo

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what about leaving a coffee until it’s cold


that’s a coincidence

Wait, so how and when do I poo? Do I have headphones on?

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Easiest one yet

hot drinks and pooing are the only things that make work bearable you monster

On your own time. The mechanics are up to you.

Only if you don’t want the neighbours to hear you pooing.

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Ok so i’m in work, i have two cups of coffee and feel a rumblin’. Now what?

Your move.

I get to go home? Not sure I get this one

  1. poo at work and get fired
  2. hold it in and keep your job

What if the headphones are on but i’m not actually wearing them


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Well im not giving up coffee so i guess i poo at caffe nehru now

Can you poo as long as you clock out? Are iced coffees allowed?


Technically yes but it’s going to hurt you on your performance review.

What if you go to the Italian cafe next door, buy and finish your hot drink there and then come back to the office?