I’m insanely clumpy at all times

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Nope. I’m trying to improve it though, by strengthening my core and by consciously trying to hold good posture.

Like two sticks that control another stick. I did used to do it and was pretty fucking good but please don’t tell anyone.

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Did it bring you pleasure?

How do you do your posture mate?

Yeah it was good. I would be fukcing amazing now had I continued. Like I could do all the stuff this geezer does (well maybe not the later stuff) but not as slick.

I’ve revealed too much!

Due to my badminton ( and SAS training, but I don’t want to go on about that) my reaction and poise are quite good when it comes to sport but when it comes to doing things neatly in everyday life I am terrible. I’m not sure I know what poise means? I am sure as hell not going to look it up and check.

Did you have dreadlocks and a shell necklace as well?

This is an astonishing development

No I had a shaved head and was stoned most of the time but I did hook up with a white girl with dreadlocks (half Norwegian/half French) while discovering the beauty of my soul in SE Asia.

But you did have a shell necklace?

I did as a kid but I have not worn any jewellery (other than wedding ring) since hitting double figures.

I have/had a friend from school who is now a big deal in the ballet world and it’s really brilliantly incongruous with his mannerisms and accent and general vibe. Good bloke.

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By engaging my core.

By trying to imagine that I’m being hung from a piece of rope attached to the top of my head, and that there’s a plumbline running down from there to the floor.

I like plumblines. It sounds like your technique is very mind-over-matter.

Kind of a real life Billy Elliot but as a south-London wideboy in a rural Kent setting.

Adorable? Agreed!

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bet that’s much easier than it looks

probably a piece of piss if anyone actually bothered to try it

The 10 years of devil stick practise paid dividends ( it actually looks quite fun, I might have to give it a go)