You message your boss in the evening

tell them you urgently need to have a meeting with them first thing in the morning.

The meeting happens and you say “I just wanted to show you this” and hand them a spreadsheet detailing the nights between 2016 - 2018 that you slept with no socks on in bed.


That would simply be a complete calendar

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No socks ever

Can’t even begin to imagine sleeping with socks on.


spreadsheet is titled “socks and shares”


My boss would laugh about it at the time

But probably make secrets plans to sack me

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When it’s cold I put some fresh clean socks on for bed then once my feet have warmed up I take them off and throw them across the room before I fall asleep.

Just about acceptable.

I would not mind this at all. Would much rather someone’s sock covered feet brushed against me in the night than their toes.
Although generally my partners toes don’t brush against me because he’s taller so they are further down the bed than where my body ends.

If I’m not displaying the data as an infographic there’s no way my boss will understand.

When it’s a bit colder than that I put a hot water bottle about two thirds of the way down the bed, about half an hour or so before bedtime so that it warms up where my feet will be. I also wear socks. Then I chuck them both out of bed about an hour after I get in.

Fascinating facts for you here.

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He’d think it was a bit I was doing and would probably laugh along to be polite.

Then fire me later and pretend it was for a different reason, like “internet use” or something.

Every now and then, when emailing a work spreadsheet, I get worried I’ve accidentally sent my, personal spreadsheet. and I have a moment. thankfully it’s only an every now and then type of event.

  • Socks in bed
  • Barefoot

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Obviously, the good kind of Deviant:



Reckon that Socks In The Sack would be a good film.
Featuring Morgan Freeman and Tilda Swinton.

I feel richer for knowing these things.

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Also I read somewhere that wearing socks during sex can lead to heightened orgasms.

Edit - I don’t usually wear socks during sex though, just fyi.

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yeah this is where it’d fall apart for me, could put a meeting in to discuss the transfer of £10 billion to his account and he’d still find a way to not turn up

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What’s on your personal spreadsheet?