You rub the lamp and a Genie appears and it grants you three wishes

Too late, a war has started and inflation means that 100GBP is now worth nothing. Junk food and beer are now illegal and you have been drafted for the war.

I wish for ant to be brought back to life. But then to poo himself

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Can I press A to start again?

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I think it would be kind to just ask the genie some questions about their life and that

That’s 2, you have 98 left.

that’s 2 wishes. v good that you got some extra ones in.

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The genie looks at you confused as you ask it questions. It is repulsed by the brown stain around your trousers. It kills you again.

You have died.

Press A to start again.

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He then kills the genie in revenge and you then kill him because he lost you your other 2 wishes and you die in jail

  1. To be a strong boy
  2. Money
  3. Sexy
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I want ant to poo himself at inopportune moments another 97 times, then with the last one I’ll just have some money or something

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You become so strong that everything you touch dies. People keep flocking to your sexiness and dying. The situation mortifies you so much that you end up touching… yourself.

Press A

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Don’t we all

I’ve pressed A and now I’m wishing for Aggsy to get boners at inappropriate times during all his important business meetings and that

I work as male talent in the pornography industry so this is actually extremely helpful. I’ve been given a raise

You are now leader of the genies, good luck with this thread.

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Ooo err!

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  1. Nice handwriting
  2. Good health for all the nice people in the world
  3. The immediate destruction of the sun and the rest of the solar system
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With my other two wishes I’ll request £15 and for dark chocolate M&Ms to be available in the United Kingdom.

Stop brexit and make CORBYN get on with it!

the genie hands you a £50 note

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