You rub the lamp and a Genie appears and it grants you three wishes

Too late, a war has started and inflation means that 100GBP is now worth nothing. Junk food and beer are now illegal and you have been drafted for the war.

I wish for ant to be brought back to life. But then to poo himself


Can I press A to start again?

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I think it would be kind to just ask the genie some questions about their life and that

That’s 2, you have 98 left.

that’s 2 wishes. v good that you got some extra ones in.

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The genie looks at you confused as you ask it questions. It is repulsed by the brown stain around your trousers. It kills you again.

You have died.

Press A to start again.


He then kills the genie in revenge and you then kill him because he lost you your other 2 wishes and you die in jail

  1. To be a strong boy
  2. Money
  3. Sexy
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I want ant to poo himself at inopportune moments another 97 times, then with the last one I’ll just have some money or something

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You become so strong that everything you touch dies. People keep flocking to your sexiness and dying. The situation mortifies you so much that you end up touching… yourself.

Press A

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Don’t we all

I’ve pressed A and now I’m wishing for Aggsy to get boners at inappropriate times during all his important business meetings and that

I work as male talent in the pornography industry so this is actually extremely helpful. I’ve been given a raise

You are now leader of the genies, good luck with this thread.


Ooo err!

  1. Nice handwriting
  2. Good health for all the nice people in the world
  3. The immediate destruction of the sun and the rest of the solar system

With my other two wishes I’ll request £15 and for dark chocolate M&Ms to be available in the United Kingdom.

Stop brexit and make CORBYN get on with it!

the genie hands you a £50 note