You rub the lamp and a Genie appears and it grants you three wishes

I’ve noticed myself saying ‘his self’ instead of ‘himself’ recently. Any thoughts?

do you ever say “his damn self”

Not that I’ve noticed

How come?

Don’t really say ‘damn’ much, to be honest

Nah, me neither

Your contribution wasn’t asked for or appreciated, mate.

Can someone use one of their wishes to make sure Stanmore station has plenty of parking available on Saturday please?

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  1. i never make another spelling mistake
  2. always know where i left my keys
  3. cheese toastie
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Are there many footballers whose names are made up of a tube station with a breed of dog in the middle, or is it just Stan collymore?

Might be able to do something with Colindale…

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Ken Shitzusington (Accrington Stanley 1956)

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You should keep your keys in one place

Bit of a nightmare if you leave the house

Press A to… go on

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£10bn
World peace
Kill jester

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  1. the world is now completely green - energy wise, no one eats meat and stuff like formula one is banned

  2. world peace - all gammons get with the program or are fired into the sun

  3. I’m incredible at football and I play up top with Kane for Spurs and England

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keep forgetting he ate those berries