Left out current players in case they came good
Pogba, martial, Bailly, Matic, perreira and beek are all right up there
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Bebes not a footballer it was deffo a fergie retirement bung
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Kezman was the first forward to spring to mind.
Laurent Charvet at right back too, absolute piss.
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Bravo
Charvet
Ben Haim
Mangala
Maicon (or Mendy)
Dabo
Bony
Caicedo
Allsopp
Jo
Corradi
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Fucking Hell, Charvet mentioned in consecutive posts for two different clubs. Incredible.
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Winston Bogarde for Zhirkov
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For West Ham a mixture of genuinely awful footballers (Roberto, Savio, Boogers) players who were decent at other times of their careers but awful for us (Evra, McCarthy). Could fill a whole team with awful foreign strikers (and Roberto).
Roberto
Pogatetz
Evra
Breen
Rat
Savio
Sanchez
Armero
McCarthy
Zaza
Boogers
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Reina
Beye Okore Bacuna Cissokho
Tonev Makoun Sanchez N’Zogbia
Gestede Samba
Taken some liberties with positions
Chris Samba goes up front cause thats where Steve Bruce played him for some unknown reason
C c c c c cocaine!
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going with relative rubbishness here as anyone from our League Two days is going to be bobbins compared to our current team, but let’s go for:
Jack Bonham
Callum Elder
Marcel Eger
Adam Griffiths
Niall McGinn
Thomas Pinault
Olafur Ingi Skulason
Ricky Shakes
Betinho
Mike Grella
Nick Proschwitz
struggled to think of any defenders beyond those that were truly rubbish, and McGinn has been decent elsewhere but was absolute shite for us, clearly did not want to be here whatsoever. not entirely sure Betinho actually existed either.
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got a game for Stoke the other day 
Never heard of Ricky Shakes before, great name
Frontzeck a strong contender for the left back spot. Made latter day Demichelis look like Kyle Walker.
Had genuinely forgotten about Razvan Rat. Boogers, McCarthy and Savio were in mine too.
Trying to work in Mido, Paulista, Jiminez and Barrera. So many odd signings in the Icelandic/Sullivan & Gold crossover.
yeah he seems to have done well since leaving us, went to Bristol Rovers I think and was solid there before going to Stoke. he was terrible for us, looked terrified pretty much all the time.
no real beef with Shakes, he was just a bit crap
The only trouble with trying to come up with a team is that there have been so many awful foreign strikers that it seems a shame to leave so many out. A couple more to add to your list would be Chamakh and Callieri - the latter of whom finally managed to score a goal for us when the ball accidentally deflected in off his arse.
Can’t really include Wellington Paulista- he never even got a chance to show us how bad he was.
Fair. Same transfer window as Sean Maguire. Probably another contender.
Maguire’s gone on to have perfectly respectable career at a lower level. Signing him as a 19 year old was a reasonable punt - high failure rate with that sort of signing.
According to stories at the time Paulista was a Sullivan signing that Allardyce never wanted and he made a point by never giving him a single minute in the pitch. Can’t really knock someone who never got a chance.
Stefan Postma
Mo Camara
Jelle Van Damme
Oleg Luzhny
Kevin Muscat
Geoffrey Mujangi Bia
Silas
Eggert Jonsson
Rajiv Van La Parra
Henri Camara
Tomasz Frankowski
Manager: Dean Saunders
Harder than I first thought. Reckon I could’ve done a full XI of strikers but most of the primary clowns I can think of elsewhere are English.
Postma is in goal by default as I was struggling to think of a foreign keeper, rather than him being especially shit and some (Muscat, Henri Camara) are there for being cunts as much as being poor footballers.
Read the other day that Stefan Postma left England because a video of his girlfriend doing him with a strap-on emerged.
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Great left peg
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