Your end of year twats


Imagine posting this as your Facebook status. What a world.

How much of a narcissist are YOU? I mean, what are YOUR end of your stats?

How do you feel about this tweet?

days worked: :cry:
money earned: :cry:


Kilometres cycled: 9111 (and counting)


I counted all the countries I’ve visited but its a secret for now


kilometres cycled: :cry:


I want to know what they’re going to grow!


I can really boost mine by classing the Basque Country and Catalonia as seperate countries


One my mums old friends moved to Cornwall years ago when I was a kid.

Every year my mum receives a “Family newsletter” from this woman, which basically just goes on about how fantastic her life is. It’s excruciating bad.


Here they are


oh god, my folks know loads of people who do this. all awful, especially who the ones who bang on about how each of their children is amazing at everything.


The name of their new start-up, obviously!


countries visited:

UK x5
France x5
Belgium xlots

flights taken: 8


Just add more letters!


Brothers pushed over: 1


Haha!! I was like “Weed? A goatee? A HUMAN HEART??”


money earned ~£30k after tax


full days worked: probably about 100


was a completely privileged wanker this year


Fucks given: 0


Weddings attended: 5