Your greatest procrastinations

I am currently in the middle of a great procrastination. As part of a wearyingly regular ritual I currently have to reapply for my job. This involves writing about four pages of A4 justifying myself against a shedload of competencies and skills and shit.

I have three weeks to do this, and could belt it out in a couple of hours. But instead I’ve been watching the snooker. Two more weeks to go.

I ain’t buying you shit, yo

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I dunno about greatest, but there’s a letter next to me just now that needs dealing with quite urgently that I’ve been saying I’ll “deal with tomorrow” for a full month now.

In fact this thread made me feel guilty enough that I tried to phone the person I need to speak to about it but they were in another call, so that’s it getting left until next Friday now.

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My guess is he didn’t have time at the first appointment to hack all the tartar off my teeth, hence the second appointment. The third appointment needed a wait because he wanted to see if my gums had healed at all after the cleaning. Basically I’m a lucky fuck, with indestructible teeth, but my gums are another story.

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I haven’t been to the dentist in 17 years, and I’m fortunate enough not to have been to the doctors in about 12.

I’m still registered for both up in Newcastle, but there are no NHS dentists accepting new registrations near me, and the GP’s surgeries make signing up a complete faff, so I’ve never bothered.

Oh, the lights in the ceiling in the kitchen went about 2 months ago. The morning after I went round screwfix, B&Q, the one with the pun name etc. and none of them had them, suggested I look online.

Went home, moved a floor lamp from the living room to the kitchen and have made do ever since

This. The administrative nightmare that is having to write some things on a form has prevented me from ever registering with a doctor or dentist ever since it stopped being the remit of my Mother.

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Five of the six spotlights in my kitchen currently need the bulbs replacing. I’ll do them all when the sixth one goes.

Maybe.

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Yeah I wasn’t registered for a doctor for a number of years. Used the walk-in clinic when I got tonsillitis. But finally my asthma inhaler ran out and moving would often provoke a mild attack.

When we had those little round halogen lights in one of the places we rented I kept buying the wrong type, 12V instead of 240V. Had a little stack of them by the end because, of course, I couldn’t be bothered to take them back for a replacement, just convinced myself I’d remember which end was the correct type next time.

I built my PC on New Years Eve 2015 and put the many, many boxes in the garage “in case I need to send back any faulty parts”, then take them to the recycling.

The boxes are still there today.

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This is actually much worse than it seems, because i) the nearest recycling centre is less than 100 m away from my house, ii) I need to walk past it to get to my car every day, and iii) my office is literally next door to another recycling centre, which I also walk past twice a day.

I’ve now got a smoke detector and microwave to recycle too.

Been meaning to get this black spot checked out for a while too

apologies for the state of my table, that’s a purely actually temporary thing

Smuggins

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I didn’t go for 12 or 13 years, but cracked a tooth so had to make an appointment. I never had a fear of dentists or anything, but I left it so long it just became more and more embarrassing.

The dentist didn’t mention the length of time I’d left it. I was in a bind so went to a private place so doubt he really cared. He was also quite impressed with the condition of my teeth. I actually think the tartar formed a nice protective barrier that blocked all the sugar.

It took him bloody ages to clean them but I remember getting home and my wife saying “Thank F**K you’ve finally got them cleaned. They were rank”

I’m really strict about going on the reg now.

What’s with all the little pompoms?

I’m also going to the dentist next wed for the first time in 15 years. The front of My tooth just casually crumbled while eating a chicken Kiev the other day so I’m a bit concerned about what I’m going to find out. Paranoid that if I tell them I haven’t been in years they’ll tell me I need all sorts of shit I don’t actually need.

Surely someone has said DIS and doing work

Paranoid that if I tell them I haven’t been in years they’ll tell me I need all sorts of shit I don’t actually need.

Mate, if your teeth are crumbling I think you need to tell them and suck it all up, frankly.