Your ideal beach (UK)

It’s a warm, summer’s day in Britain: perfect for an afternoon at the beach. What’d be your ideal beach?

pebble beach or sandy beach?
long and flat or steep?
minimum basic facilities (if any)?
any other requirements? (surf / wildlife / entertainments / nudity)

yeah I guess. but I like a bit of chat too

Pebbles please, long and flat, some kind of seating option, able to walk dogs on it.

Frankly, even then I would prefer to go somewhere else though.

  • Pebble Beach
  • Sandy Beach
  • Big old slab of concrete promenade

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Your ideal beach is a pond in Frensham, you animal!

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Prefer beaches in winter tbh

Depends who you’re with.

If it’s kids and family, then you want somewhere with an ice cream stall, some loos and maybe a pitch and putt (eg Ramsgate, Frinton).

If it’s you and your mates and you’re camping out, then you want somewhere with sand dunes, and a wide, long beach, maybe a castle in the background, horses galloping past at dawn, that kind of thing (eg Druridge Bay).

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Edit: lol “UK” oops.

Where in the UK is that?

Whoops, didn’t see that bit on mobile. Back to the thinking hat.

Wells-next-the-sea is my current favourite:

Long, flat, generally not too overcrowded, basic facilities available by the car park but not too overdeveloped.

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oh yeah


Not a big fan of beaches with wooden beach huts - they tend to be expensive and full of the kind of families where the kids have posh names and multiple food intolerances.

Mmm! Is that Porthcawl?

the homeland itself <3

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Perhaps controversially, I think lake beaches might be better than sea beaches.

NB: I have NOT been to Frensham Ponds.

Once you’ve been to a beach in a foreign land where the water’s not cold and the weather isn’t a pile of shit 99% of the time it’s hard to have any love for a UK beach, tbh.


For Norfolk, Wells is pretty middle-ground. Holkham, Thornham and Brancaster are where the Boden set hang out the most.

I saw a Stereophonics tribute band (the Monophonics!) play in Porthcawl once.