Your inner child and you

Talk to me, DiS.

Do you feel you still have an ‘inner child’ as a part of how you think or act? Have you dispelled it totally and believe that’s for the best? Do you indulge it utterly and are better or worse for it? Has it influenced your choices? Your job? Do you wish you were more in touch with it? Is it even a real thing or just a concept invented to act as a more acceptable crisis of identity/age?

We’re all getting old, so let’s talk.

so this doesn’t i think need to be an #ssp thread but

probably worth noting - as i hadn’t realised this until posting below - that this is a concept that pops up in therapy, so be chill.

My inner child remains my outer person in many, many ways


do you therefore have an inner adult? unsure if it’s a reversible concept but it could be

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I’m not sure I understand the concept of it? How is it different to your adult self being shaped by childhood experiences?


Unsure how I feel about #oldweek :weary:


" It includes what a person learned as a child, before puberty.The inner child is often conceived as a semi-independent subpersonality subordinate to the waking conscious mind."

so says wiki

Inherently feel like this is bollocks, but it’s probably the phrasing.

Find it really hard to envision it as a (semi) independent entity though. all the things the quote unquote inner child feels are quite clearly present in my adult self - being really excited by things, feeling like an outsider, being quite defensive and competitive, etc. That’s just me. Do people really separate that hard from how they were as a kid?!

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I was, am, and always will be a massive fucking baby.


I still make forts out of blankets and pillows if that’s what you’re asking :eyes:


i think the usage most common is preceded by ‘indulging your’.

I mean, it’s… it’s a massively famous turn of phrase. you’ve never heard this concept? surely not

also this is very like how i feel about people who say they have an internal monologue talking in their own head tbf so i can’t talk :smiley:


I’ve done lots of discussing my inner child and self parenting my inner child and whatnot in therapy

It’s a helpful way to frame looking after and being kind to yourself when you’ve experienced childhood trauma


Oh yeah I’ve heard of it but only really in an ironic/joking way. I assumed it was psychobabble to be indulged with healing crystals and suchlike


yeah this is fascinating to me. i think it’s easy to assume that people are reflexively using the notion as a way of saying ‘being immature’ but framing it as ‘being aware of the history of my younger self, reconciling issues they had, indulging it for the purposes of fulfillment’ etc it makes more sense

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I think I have no more inner child, but every now and then there’s a peep, and it turns out that all that’s left of my inner child is unreasonable stroppiness



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:smiley: “he’s there, and he’s pissed off”


Have quite a lot of thoughts on this cause I had bad parents (they weren’t bad people, they just weren’t good at parenting and I don’t resent that any more, through lots of therapy and becoming an adult myself I can accept them as flawed humans who tried their best but ultimately had their own issues that impacted me and that’s fine, no one gets a guidebook, I’ve genuinely mostly made peace with that and them).

I do think I have an inner child who needs a bit of looking after sometimes, but I appreciate that’s not the same for everyone. Think I react much like a child when something bad happens, but I’m learning to be better and “self soothe” as one therapist taught me (sounds rude, isn’t).

My inner child definitely has abandonment issues which is why I’m impossible to love in a romantic way, but she’s doing okay on other fronts I think. I like doing nice things for myself that the scared little girl within me would want to do, like feed the ducks or paint watercolours and stuff like that. If I’m panicked I try and calm myself down in the way I would calm down a child (put something easy on tv, wrap myself up in a blanket, eat fish fingers) and sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Don’t wanna get too deep when I’ve only had one coffee so may come back to this later. Good thread though!


Very much all of this.

I know the phrase but just thought it was only a turn of phrase for when someone stepped outside the bounds of tasteful Victoria-inspired ideas of adulthood.

I feel like refreshingly society is beginning to get over this weird obsession with what is ‘adult’ and what is ‘childish’, certainly as far as interests go.

Clearly if we’re talking times when you’re a selfish arsehole or just taking piss taking too far even though you know you shouldn’t, for the sake of others, then I get it in that sense.

But for years it was wearing to have to not admit I liked things like Star Wars or D&D etc because it was too depressing to have all the shit from everyone.

you might call this ‘denying your inner child’ if you were applying the concept in that sense