Your reading feats

I’m 29 years old but I read at a 34 year old level


I have (re)read the uncut edition of Stephen King’s The Stand in a day. I had mild flu, too knacked to get out of bed but well enough to read and not sleepy at all.

Managed to hold in a wee I really needed for the whole of Morrissey doing How Soon Is Now, 2004


I once wrote an essay in 3 hours for a housemate who wouldn’t go on a night out because it was due. I got a 2.1, they got a 1st.

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Teacher had me reading out of The Irish Times in front on the class when I was six.

My Mam found out and went nuclear over it thinking that I’d get bullied because I stood out. She was right, got bullied and laughed at for the rest of primary school.

I don’t read

At primary school I was the youngest person to reach the top of the reading scheme, my reading age was 14 plus when I was six. It was bollocks though, I just had to read a bunch of words to the headteacher, I had no idea what they meant. Plus I cheated, my sister told me how to pronounce unique properly as she knew it was on there.

More recently I read A Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes in the time it takes to fly from London to Geneva.

I read the whole of middle march (that thing is a fucking brick) in a night a few weeks before my English a level(Easter holiday) as revision.

I was a smoker at the time and had a fag out of the skylight in my room about every three chapters. Finished just as dawn broke and then had to go to my holiday job.

I moved schools in year five and was told that I’d have to go through the whole fucking reading tree in my new school to get “free reader” status and read what I wanted (primary school lotr crew represent!)

There was no limit to how many books we were allowed to bring home we just had to be tested on them to prove we’d read them. I remember taking absolute armfuls of books (not biff, chip and kipper but that sort of deal) home each night for the first few days, being tested in depth on the Friday and then bringing Tolkien into school the following week. Didn’t actually tell the teacher “absolutely fuck you then” but I was thinking it.

Did you read the last 100 pages where they walk home in the snow?

Yup. I enjoy that part of the book TBH, it’s like a long, contented sigh after the crazy WTFery of the climactic scene

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Another member of the primary school LOTR club here. Pretty sure I was 9, possibly 10.

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I’d definitely call it an anti-climactic scene :smiley:

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I love Stephen King, but he very rarely lands an ending

Think I was 12 when I read The Stand for the first time. My dad gave me it & said “it’s like LOTR but with swearing”. Not too far off the mark TBH. Never actually read the original edited version, might try and track it down at one point to see what was excised first time out


Was so disappointed when I was 10 reading LotR and it was a bunch of fucking songs instead of some hobbit lads having an adventure. Sacked it off 100 pages in and never tried again.


Damn these sound genuinely intriguing

Don’t think I could ever manage it though

I once ate a chocolate flavoured ice lolly in a historic market town in Berkshire

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Similar. Switched schools and we had a free reading time where the teacher would unlock the library cupboards and you could borrow a book each week. There were plenty of books in there that were for teenagers too for some reason, so the teacher would scrutinise them.

My grandad had got me a fancy set of the Lord of the Rings from a charity shop, which had a fold out map and stuff, but it only came with the first two books, so I hadn’t read the third yet. Teacher refused to let me have it, and claimed I’d lied about reading the first two.

My mum sent in a letter to the teacher basically saying let her have whatever the fuck she wants.

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I have a brother and sister who are much older than me. There were quite a few copies of exam set texts dumped in with general books in our house.

Which is how I ended up reading Animal Farm (this edition) aged seven or eight with no awareness whatsoever that it was political allegory, I was just angry at how badly they treated the horse. (I also saw the cartoon).

My parents never paid any attention to what I read or watched so no-one explained it to me. It was only years later I was like ohhhhhh. And even more when one of the GCSE History papers was on Soviet history.

(Did anyone else have to do a school project about Magnetogorsk?)

If I turn my phone upside down it just rotates the screen so it’s all the right way round. This is easy!!!