your worst attempt at chatting someone up

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22

put a dampener on proceedings!

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23

witnessed a mate of mine ask someone “what’s the best chat up line you’ve never heard?”

“uh, I don’t know…”

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24

that’s not even the saying. its damper.

25

I said to a girl in a club “may I have this dance?” while Pound The Alarm by Nicki Minaj was playing extremely loudly in the background.

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27

When i was about five I tried to tell someone I fancied her by way of a complex narrative where “I knew someone who liked her”, which I weaved throughout the lunchbreak before dropping the proto-Shyamalan twist that it had been ME all along.

I think my youthful lack of understanding of narrative structure was my downfall

Can’t believe I ever had the gaul to try something like that out tbh

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29

Was talking to a girl in a pub once:
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I manage Fat Face
Me: That’s funny because I manage with a fat face!
Her:
Me: Better get going, bye!

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30

Really, really happy to have read this

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31

I’ve been on the receiving end of what’s got to be up there with one of the worst, which was a guy in a bar coming over and asking me what I did for a living then saying he imported stuff from China as a side job, then leaned closer and said “tell me everything you know about design rights in China”

Didn’t actually realise until months later that it was a gay bar, so it was quite a confusing experience all round. Thought it was weird for someone to be interested in my job.

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33

and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i like you

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35

might do this one day actually.

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36

Great thread fitzy! Thankfully I don’t really remember most of my worst ones, but only for DiS I will try to dig deeper and see if I can recall anything of interest.

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37

and if you can’t handle that, well, you can FUCK OFF

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38

YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF

kicks door i’ve just installed down

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39

Was in a club in Vauxhall and a german guy walked over to me poured a shit load of MDMA and said “drink that and we’ll go fuck”. I was like “mate i can’t drink that i’ve got work in the morning”
Didn’t even mention being straight was too angry about not being able to have the free drugs

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41

Hahaha

How does this happen irl? Did she just literally silently walk out or claim she needed the loo or something?

43

image
image876×909 191 KB

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45

Please tell us more about this technique

47

Wtf :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::wine_glass:

50

i was once on my way to a date when the girl msgd me to say not to bother coming as she’d arranged a date for an hour before ours and liked the other guy much better, savage but efficient i guess

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52

absolutely amazing :joy:

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