You're surrounded by people and you smell a fart

How do you passively make it clear to the people around you that you were not responsible?


Alvvays about to start in a few minutes and the culprit is a serial offender. Proper gag inducing times.

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It’s almost always me who did it so yes of course


Oh how? I do a disgusted face and leave the area ASAP

Not an answer, doesn’t matter who did it

Best I’ve got so far is looking around disgusted (zero eye contact) kinda covering my nose, looking sick.


But I want to watch the band, so leaving is not an option. Part of me suspects that’s the intention.

Three now, and the intensity makes me think it’s the guy in front of me. I am currently irrationally hating him.

Not sure that’s irrational tbh

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Ignore it like the adults we all are

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Say wahey!

Have a quick scan around to find a male present i vaguely get along with and say something along the lines of ‘come on, mate, we spoke about this, that’s fucking disgusting’ whilst frowning and shaking my head.


Just shout what the fuck what the fuck over and over, while exiting the room.

Really don’t like public farts.

Point at Epimer

Look smug.

Start pissing on the floor to distract everyone


You can’t. Just take the golden opportunity to drop your own guts without stressing about it.

Was anyone at that ATP festival at Butlins Minehead where they were selling hot dogs in each venue, man there were some rank guffs that weekend and I think a few of the bands mentioned it onstage.

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wrinkle my nose up a bit in disgust but subtly enough that it doesn’t look like i’m trying too hard to prove something