You've been asked to throw the ceremonial first pitch!

Got to set a tone

Feels like a professional athlete should have this kind of thing down, even if it’s not their sport


Here’s the real winner


I think there’s been some kind of mistake. Call Jean, she’ll straighten everything out.

Get real annoyed with anyone that doesn’t throw for the actual mound.

two handed overhead lob

Dr Fauci had a recent gem.


how far is it?

it looks easy as fuck, but i guess it can’t be since everyone is making such an arse of it

60 feet from the mound

Its all about the wind up, got to get some momentum going. Just can’t come at it firing away.

ez pz


Funkhouser: The Teenage Years


Think I took about 4 wickets that game.

I’d crush it, before I broke my elbow I could throw a ball over the posts of a rugby pitch from around the halfway line, which is about 50m, with either hand. Used to do it to give the dog a proper run. I could still do it with my right arm.

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I’d do a knuckleball

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Think mine would be a little loopy but of good length LIKE MY DICK HAHAHA

would struggle with the pressure though. Last time I attempted a coconut shy I didn’t hit any of them, cos of the pressure, and I imagine this is worse


I have regular dreams about having to successfully…hoop a basketball and not being able to release the ball.

Told someone about this once and they said it was probably related to the auld sex.

Not sure I’d manage it.

Piece of cake. 80k slider right in the zone. Might even eat a piece of cake while I do it.

Could get the distance and direction, not sure it’d be very fast though. Would ask if I could do it dressed in a mascot’s costume so I could laugh it off if I fucked it.

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This is the strategy, no one expects a giant duck to throw that well

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